


Was it all Pretend?

by Titan_bitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Bullying, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's Name Spelled as Leonhardt, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Depression, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, Grisha was an ass, Homophobic Language, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Romance, Secret Relationship, Self-Harm, Sexual Abuse, Slight Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-15
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2018-04-26 11:57:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5003953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titan_bitch/pseuds/Titan_bitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikasa's life at school has been hell since a rumour went around about her. Now its a new term and the harassment is still going on. But for some reason this time the cold Annie Leonhardt is sticking up for her. But why? What could she possibly have to gain from this sudden act of kindness?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sharpie

**Author's Note:**

> i may accidentally change the tense of the story here and there so I'm sorry if that happens.

Mikasa's POV

Holidays were now over meaning I had to go back to school, middle school for me was average not that many people actually bothered me but high school was a completely different ball game. It's like the reason some people exist is to make your life a living hell, and then there are those who don't even have to do anything directly to you and still manage to be bitches. 

I lay in bed dreading having to go back to school, no one really understood why I hated school they all saw me a a tough person that doesn't let anything get to her. But to be completely honest that was the opposite of what I was, yes I was strong and I didn't let it seem like what people said effect me. But it did, more than it should at least. I take a deep breath and throw the blankets off me, if I didn't wake Eren up he'd never get up. Eren and I live with his father, but most of the time he is either working or sleeping. So we depend on each other to do stuff around the house, and when I say we depend on each other I pretty much me completely depends on me to do everything for him. 

Seriously wouldn't surprise me if one day he decided he wanted me to dress him, I mean I do everything else for him around the house. He wouldn't even know what a clothes washer or a dish washer was if they were right in front of him, let alone be able to tell the two apart. When I was finally out of bed I walked down the hall slamming Eren's door open startling him awake.  
"Mikasa what the fuck?!" He yelled, I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes.  
"If I catch you asleep again I'll throw ice water on you" I said before shutting his door behind me, he usually gets shitty if I leave his door open, probably because he sneaks in an extra five minute of sleep behind my back. I went back into my room and got dressed not really caring what I put on, then slipped my black converses on. Eren was probably going to take forever to get ready like usual, so I decided I had time to put makeup on. 

But when I looked in the mirror it was only a minor improvement to what I consider myself a plain canvas. Why do I compare myself to a blank canvas? Simple it's because that's what everyone at school considers me as. Nothing to look at. Nothing interesting, just boring me. Sighing I knocked on Eren's door and he answered it straight away, he was swinging his car keys around on him finger "You ready?" He asked, I wanted to say no. I wanted to stay at home and not go back, last term was hell enough. 

I put on a fake smile and nod, he smiled back at me sadly he knew why I didn't want to go back. How could he not, everyone would ask him if the rumors would true and he'd beat people up for talking bad about me, or when he heard people's start up a new rumor. He had my back at school, that was slightly a relief I guess. The rumor that went around about me was that I was a lesbian. While it was true it didn't make it any easier to have it spread around the school. I don't even know how it got around or who told who, Eren and Armin had been supportive although Armin didn't use violence like Eren did he'd still go off at people when they asked him about the rumors as well. 

He said it was pathetic how people could be so cruel, to not worry about it. I told them it wasn't bothering me but I know they could see past the mask I put on. Eren pat me on the shoulder lightly before walking past me and out the house to his car, I lock up the house then join him in his car, we usually take turn in who drives but lately Eren's been driving more than I have. 

He looked at me one last time before pulling out of the driveway, on out way we pick Armin up like usual. It's not to far out of our way considering we have to drive past his house to get to school anyways so we found this to be far more convenient. We pull at Armin's place and Eren turned to me,  
"Are you sure your okay?" It was obvious he was worried, he didn't have any classes with me today so he couldn't really stick up for me if something happened. He had to learn he can't protect me from everyone forever. 

Armin finally left his house and opened the car door, jumping in and closing it behind him. I sighed putting my earphones in and closed my eyes, the song Go to Hell for Heavens Sake by Bring me the Horizon playing. I'd recently feel in love with songs with screaming in them. Most of them I could relate to, probably why they were so likable to me.

When I opened my eyes again our car was parked in the school parking lot, some other people were hanging out around their cars talking, and just my luck it was the exact group that I wanted to avoid. The group consisted of Bertholdt, Reiner, Ymir, Mina, Annie and a few other of their lackeys that were either after Annie or just wanted to be considered 'popular'. Who would of thought the world worked in a way that the most rude and stuck up people were considered popular.

Bertholdt and Reiner could be nice but if anyone said shit about Annie they'd snap, even Bertholdt depending on what was said, he's usually quiet but since he has a crush on Annie he probably was trying to 'impress' her or something, and Ymir was dating someone in my group, Christa. How on earth those two ended up dating is beyond me. I stepped out of the car since Eren and Armin had already gotten out and he probably wanted to lock the car. I looked up and fire and ice collided, my eyes caught with Annie's and she was starring back at me. Her face was uninterested like always, but her eyes almost made me want to crawl back into the car and stay in there.

I saw one of the older students whisper into Annie's ear, making her smirk eyes still locked with mine the whole time. I shook it off and walked past Eren and Armin into the school. 

As soon as I entered the door people looked straight at me, I felt as if my blood have turned to ice. Some people started to whispered and others kept starring. Taking a deep breath I walked down the hall and into the locker room, when I walked to my looker a group of girls started laughing, and I realized once I looked at my locker why they were laughing.

My locker was covered in words written in sharpie works such as, lesbo, freak, dyke, whore, faggot. There was even a sentence which read 'die in hell fag', I don't even understand why this was still happening, I would have thought that everyone forgot. A locker next to mine was opened looking at who it was I see Annie getting books out of her locker, that's right her lockers next to mine I forgot about that.

Once she finished she looked over at my locker and scoffed lightly . I wasn't sure if that was at me or what was written, and it slightly irritated me. As if she'd know what it was like to be treated like shit everyday, everyone liked her and wanted to be part of her group. She met my gaze quickly before turning around and walking out the locker room, the group of girls in the door way stopped laughing and moved out of her way.

The bell rings not a second later and I quickly get my books and leave the locker room as quick as I can,  
"Dyke" one of the girls yelled, making the rest of the group start laughing again. I quickly retreat to my art class making my way to my usual spot at the very back table, and sit down. Art was one of the only classes I looked forward to, other than English and Sport. But lately it has been hell in sport.

We all have to change into our sports uniform in the girls sports locker rooms which were separate from our normal lockers. But ever since the who lesbian thing got around everyone whispers about me and ridicules me. They say things loud enough to make sure I can hear them, things like 'I wonder if she looks' and the list goes on and on.

A loud slam on my desk startles me bringing me out of my day dream, I look up and see Sasha beaming down at me like always,  
"Do you have to scare me to death when you want my attention?" I grunt looking away from her,  
"I couldn't get your attention any other way" she pouts down at me.

"Hey Sasha stay away from that freak, she might be contagious" A guy from Annie's group called, Sasha looked over her shoulder to see who the guy was. "Don't listen to him" she said to me with a sad expression. 

"Your just jealous because she probably gets more chicks than you do" I looked up and saw Annie sitting in one of the seats against the wall, she was leaning against the wall and sketching in her art book.  
"Burn!" Reiner called from his seat making half the class laugh and giggle at the comment. The guy looked at Annie in a questioning manor then sat down whispering 'what the hell?' To her, but she ignored him and kept sketching in her book. 

Why would she stick up for me? Annie Leonhardt, the one who laughed when her friend Mina spread the fact she was gay around the whole school to start with, was now all of a sudden sticking up for me. What is going on?


	2. Lino

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this is a little different from what it originally was when i first wrote it, i changed it because i found i will have more to work with now. Hope you enjoy

Annie POV  
Reiner was smirking like an idiot at my comment but I just ignored him, and continued to sketch in my art book. Finally the teacher walked in and we got to work, we were making stamps. It's not as boring as it sounds trust me, we were given a thick piece of Lino where we had to carve into it using a v shaped blade tool. Like always Reiner was the first one to cut himself on the carving tool, he was exactly the same in industrial technology as well. He'd always find a way to hit himself with the hammer or a chisel. I'm not sure if it's just bad luck or pure clumsiness who knows. 

I finally finished carving my design into the Lino, when Reiner leaned over,  
"Are you sure you're going to go through with it? You don't have to do it just because he told you to" I roll my eyes at him and ignore him, rolling the black ink onto my stamp.  
"I know I don't have to do it, I want to do it. It'll give me something to keep myself entertained" What I was what I was planning on doing was horrible, but my life has been so boring as of late that I need something to keep me amused, besides it's not like I care how nasty it is anyways, if people are that sensitive to let it get to them so be it.  
If the rumours proved to be right then this take will prove to be a lot easier, I finished rolling the black ink on my stamp and opened my art book pressing it down hard on the paper, when I pulled the Lino away it was next to perfect no ink was where it wasn't meant to be and all the detail was perfect. 

The stamp I made was a day of the dead mask, it didn't have colour like they were meant to have but it had all the right detail. Reiner whistled looking over at my book again.  
"Holy shit, that's actually really good. I thought you would of fucked up with the small detail but that's great" He's making it sound like he expected it to suck, God he was such a transparent idiot sometimes. I shove him lightly and he laughs,  
"I actually try, unlike some people who only chose art because they thought it was an easy class" Reiner glared at me and went back to carving into his piece of Lino, It was literally just lines and squiggles that he was doing. I smirk at him, it was kinda funny, it's so like him to do something half assed in Art.

The bell rang and I quickly packed up my stuff and left the class with Reiner tagging behind, all the other students started to pour out of class rooms and into the halls now as well. I pull out my folded up time table out of my phone case and check what class I had next. Sport. I shared my next class with both Reiner and Bertholdt.  
"When are you going to tell him?" I speak up looking over my shoulder at Reiner who stared down at my with a confused look on his face.  
"You can't keep it from him forever it's getting to painfully obvious" I could hear him sigh behind me. Let me explain. Reiner has had a thing for our childhood friend Bertholdt since middle school, but he never had the guts to pipe up about it because up until later Bertholdt had a huge crush on me, but he reassured me those feelings were gone now.  
"He likes you Annie, I'm not even sure if he's gay or bi sexual even" for such a big guy he always shied away from his feelings and what not. It was kinda sad, that such a big guy was so afraid to tell his middle school crush how he feels about him.  
"I'll see you on the field" I call after Reiner as I walk into the girls sports locker room, I was running a little late so most of the girls had already changed and left. I started to take my shirt off when I heard a loud bang and mocking laughter coming from the other row of lockers behind where mine was.

It sounded like those same girls in the locker room this morning, and of I didn't know any better I'd say they were most likely degrading or beating her up. I quickly slip on my sports shirt and round the corner to the other sets of lockers, and there were the girls from this morning standing over, Mikasa who was only in her panties and bra, and curling herself up against the locker in a pathetic attempt to try and cover herself from the other girls.

Her lip was busted and she had several bruises scattered across the sides of her stomach and rib cage. I couldn't tell if they were from the girls or from someone else, I didn't really care that she was getting beaten up. For such a strong girl it was kind of funny that she'd gotten beaten up, she had so much strength and yet she never used it. She was a goodie to shoes, so it wouldn't surprise me if she never fought back because she was afraid of getting kicked out of school. Her and I are polar opposites, she's fire and I'm ice. We don't mix. But if my plans going to work I'll have to find a way to win over her trust, so I might as well start now.

Mikasa's POV  
The fact that Annie stuck up for me in Art was still on my mind and I couldn't seem to shake it off. Why would she stick up for me? It made no sense. She's never been one to stick up for people, so why now all of a sudden and why me? Trying not to think about it too much I start to take my shoes and place them on one of the shelves in my locker with my sports clothes. I then slip off my shirt and pants throwing them in my locker not bothering to fold them.

I was about to turn back around when my locker was slammed shut, I spun around and stood face to face with the girls from the locker room this morning. The head of the group, Ashley, was smiling widely at me, straight away I knew nothing good was going to come from this. First the sharpie on my locker, now this.  
"I hope you liked the little present on your locker this morning" the sarcasm very noticeable in her voice.

It only clicked in my head now that I was half naked, making me try to cover myself the best I could. Ashley laughed again  
"Aww. She's self conscious. That's adorable." I slid down my locker to the ground and pulled my knees to my chest, hiding my face in my knees. The girls erupted in laughter again, which made anger boil inside me.  
"You're already in your sports clothes, so stop loitering and your asses out side like they should be!" A new voice rang out, the group scoffed and left the sound of footsteps slowly getting further and further away, until they were gone completely. I look up half expecting our Sports teacher but instead Annie stood in front of me starring at me.  
"Did that put those bruises on you?" She asked holding out her hand the help me up, I stared at her hand for a little while before shaking my head and accepting the help.  
"Some guys after Art" I confirmed, Annie just nodded and didn't say anything else before turning around. Stepping forward I grab her wrist and stop her from walking away.  
"Why do you keep helping me?" She looks over shoulder at me before turning back around "I have my reasons." I let go of her hand and she goes back around to her locker on the other side of mine.

I quickly slip my clothes on and quickly run outside onto the football field. The sports teacher was later herself so by the time she came Annie had came out of the changing rooms as well and stood next to me. That itself was weird, just her standing next to me. Usually she'd steer clear of me, then again she did that with everyone who wasn't in her group. Her posture was awful she was always slouching and put more weight on one particular side, when she walked it was no different except she walked leaning forward slightly. She could be a very cold and blunt person, I'm not sure if there's anything beneath that, but from the looks of what happened today she must have some sort of feelings hidden in there somewhere.

Not to long after Annie stood next to me Reiner and Bertholdt made there way through the crowd go get to Annie. Not long after than Annie turned to Reiner,  
"So have you told him yet?" Her eyebrow was raised, and her face looked serious. It'd been nothing to think twice about when it came to how Reiner felt about Bertholdt. Everyone could see it. Except Bertholdt. Either that or he's noticed but just pushed it away thinking it was stupid. Reiner glared down at Annie who raised both hands in surrender, turning back around.  
"Told who what?" Bertholdt asked curiously, but Reiner just told him it was nothing. Annie grunted and rolled her eyes, she'd probably been trying to urge Reiner to tell him about his feelings for ages. They'd be cute for each other after all, Reiner being an extrovert and Bertholdt being an introvert.

There aren't very many relationships where two people who are the same work out all that well, except Sasha and Connie. They both have the same kind of personalities as each other but work perfectly together. I guess there are some exceptions to the rule. A sharp pain from the back of my thigh made me shriek in pain quietly. Even so some people still turned around and gave me looks. I looked to my side quick enough to see Annie pull away her hand and smirking. She pinched me. What the hell was that for. I furrow my brows in confusion and look away. Hot breath brushed over my neck making me shiver, it felt so nice,  
"You're actually cute when you're in pain" Annie whispered in my ear, quiet enough so no one else but me heard it. Heat rushed to my checks at the comment.

Making me pull away for her, a little startled by the comment. Annie the quiet one was playing head games with me, she was like a freakin fox, a sly, cunning little bitch. Luckily no one else saw me blushing, that was a relief. Otherwise I probably would've gotten another gay comment. After another ten minute of waiting our sports teacher Levi showed up, who funny enough was also my French teacher... and my older blood brother, he was the only family I had left that was blood related to me.

And ever since Carla died he's been coming over a lot to check on us since Grisha is never really home, and when he is he is usually drunk. I think Levi’s worried he might do something, i try to assure him everything's alright but i know he can see past my lie, I just hope one day Levi is there when Grisha abuses me. But on to a less depressing note I swear there's also something going on with him and Eren, because when ever he comes over he checks on me the spends like two hours in Eren’s room. Even with him around I still have to do most of the house work, although he does check that everything's done and on the odd occasion it's not done he’ll lend me a hand and help out.  
"Ok brats, pair up. We're going to do stretching, and before you all start bitching just be grateful that I don't make you all run laps all lesson." I feel my wrist being tugged roughly and pulled away for everyone else, I look over at who was pulling me away and I saw Annie. Reiner and Bertholdt following us but spacing away from us a little. Almost everyone looks at me, well more like glares at me. It was uncomfortable having so many eyes on me like that.

"Hey Annie, why are you being so nice to that man bodied freak" Ashley called out. Fuck that's right she saw me before I put my clothes on. Shit.  
"So you've seen her naked to know what her body looks like? Maybe you're the one that's gay here Ashley if you go around intentionally looking at girls when they are naked" Annie snapped, making Ashley shut up almost instantly, everyone trying to hold back their laughter. Annie turned back around to face me and started to lean in, for a second I thought she was going to kiss me, closing my eyes I brace myself but instead she whispered into my ear,  
"I've got you back darling" when she pulled away a weird feeling wandered into my stomach, making me feel uncomfortable.

I shift on my feet trying to somehow get the feeling out of my stomach. I look anywhere other than at Annie knowing already that she's probably smirking. What I saw shocked me, Reiner was looking at me sadly, almost as if he pitied me. But why? What was going on?


	3. Letterman Jacket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I kinda didn't know what to write.

Annie’s POV 

The school worked in a strange way, if you were popular and liked by a huge amount of people no one cared who you liked. But if you were someone like Mikasa then it's easy to say you are screwed in a high school like mine, lucky for me no one's ever asked about my sexuality. Usually I wouldn’t care when people got beat up unless they were in my friend group or dating my friends, even though with my friend group i don’t need to worry at all.

Everyone learnt their lesson when someone decided to hit on Christa since she's the nice and beautiful type, let's just say that guy needed to stay in hospital for a while, so even when it came out the two were dating everyone stayed super quiet about it, probably afraid to be hurt. As for Bertholdt he almost always has Reiner with him, although Reiner is the friendly type that everyone likes when he's mad it’s not pretty, so most people try to avoid pissing him off.

I look Mikasa up and down as she tied her hair up in a small pony tail with an elastic she had around her wrist, her shirt tightening around her chest making it easier to see the size of her bust, considering i wasn’t really paying attention to her chest when she was half-naked in the locker room. She was big for a fifteen year old she had that going for her at least, but the things that stand out to me are the scar on her cheek and the bruises that were on her body. It's plainly obvious that she was lying about them being recent, they looked to old to have been done after art. Wait why should I even care? Not like she's my problem, it’s not like I even like her all that much anyway, in middle school she was so cold and use to beat people up if they so much as said a rude word to her. So what happened, she's not the Mikasa Ackerman i use to get into fights and arguments with she's more pathetic now than she use to be, maybe the demon finally found she had a heart after all and started using it.

The rest of sport went by quickly considering we were only doing stretching, Reiner made stupid jokes like he always did, Bertholdt even made some himself which was kinda surprising. Through the whole lesson though Mikasa stayed relatively quiet, it wasn’t all that strange but it was kinda weird for some reason. 

It didn’t take long to get dressed and escape the crowded sports locker room, Bertholdt and Reiner were already changed and waiting outside in the hall for me. Reiner somehow managed to let the fact that the female locker room would be full of changing girls slip his mind and walked in to get me, a lot of things were thrown at him like aerosol cans and shoes. It’s kinda ironic that the only girls that cared were the ones who usually throw themselves on guys in hope they would get to get in their pants. Quite a few girls have actually been trying to get with Reiner for a while, to bad he’s gay though guess there's no chance they will be getting in his pants any time soon.

We make our way to our usual spot in the courtyard, off to the side where there was a huge tree where we all sat under, and just by coincidence Mikasa and her group so happened to sit in the center of the courtyard where there was a large water fountain with a huge black marble ball in the middle. It was really bothersome that her group sat so close to ours because her group was so damn loud, especially Sasha and Connie. Even Eren and Jean if they decided to get into one of their little girly fights which Mikasa and Marco always broke up. 

A folded piece of paper was thrown into my lap making me look up at who threw it, Ymir was smiling down at her with Christa standing not to far behind her. Christa tried to avoid me at all costs it was like she was afraid of me or something, she was small and fragile like a porcelain doll. One that would break so easily. I unfold the piece of paper and it was a poster for the school Halloween dance coming up soon, although dancing wasn't my thing i still ended up going every school dance held, mostly because Bertholdt and Reiner drag me to those things but it also go me out of my room for a night.

“So you going to go?” I looked up from the poster wondering if it was even a question since the answer was so painfully obvious anyway, Ymir guessed from my look and just nodded sitting down with the rest of us. I lay down on the grass and put my arms behind my head as some sort of cushioning, so i didn’t have to rest my head on the hard ground and closed my eyes, apart from the group talking it was pretty quiet in the courtyard, not that many people decided to hang around outside, most prefered to be inside in the cafeteria or the library when the air conditioner was always on during summer,making it a popular hangout spot during the summer heat waves.

A scream followed by splashing broke the somewhat peaceful atmosphere, I sit up and look over towards the fountain. I wasn't particularly surprised by what I saw, it was the same guy from art but this time he'd pushed Mikasa into the fountain her white shirt now see through, and her red bra was visible through the wet fabric.   
“Whoops, sorry didn't see you there” he said sarcastically laughing down at the wet Mikasa. 

Mikasa stayed still for a good few seconds before pulling herself out of the fountain, she was about to walk away when the boy reached around and grabbed a hold of her chest fondling her boobs in his hands, startling Mikasa and making her squeal out loudly,   
“Wow, so these things are huge, you wouldn't mind if I stripped you naked in front of all these people would you?.” Even though I was sitting a fair distance away I could still hear what he was saying, it was making me feel sick I hate the girl but hearing something like that just makes me sick. Reiner was clenching his fists he looked like he wanted to punch the guy in the face and I don't blame him, at the moment I feel like doing just that as well. 

Mikasa just stood there face twisted with anger until he started to slide his hands to the hem of her shirt, it was then that she ripped his hand away from her and threw him to the ground and glared down at him with a deadly look.  
“You boys are all the same. Filthy fucking pigs” she said before kicking him in the face, falling down onto her knees straddling his waist and cracking a punch across his face, then another and another until he started to cough blood up. I was so shocked by this outburst that all I could do was stare ahead in horror, until I saw that she had no plan to stop hitting. Standing up i ran over to Mikasa and pulled her away from the boy who rolled over and spat more blood out of his mouth, to be honest he deserved it you can only push someone so far before they snap. 

We fell backwards onto the ground but I still kept hold of her, her group and mine rushing over to see what happened. I couldn't see her face but she was trembling but not because she was sad, she was trembling because of how mad she was. If I haven't of pulled her off would she of continued to hit him till he died? Was she someone who would even be capable of killing someone. It only became aware to me now that she was still soaking wet and now the water from her shirt was seeping into mine, it wasn't completely unpleasant considering I've trained in the rain before. 

I stood up and looked down at her, her bra still really visible I frowned down at the girl, her fist was bruised and bloodied and the anger had disappeared from her face. I shoved my hands into my hoodies pocket and walked over to my bag pulling my Letterman jacket out, everyone on the basketball team got one, on the back of mine was embroidered ‘04 Leonhardt’ with a green unicorn on both shoulders. Walking back over to the shivering girl who now had Armin and Eren kneeled down beside her asking if she was okay. I stood in front of her and looked down and looked down at her for a few seconds then threw the jacket into her lap.  
“Here put this on.” It came out as more of an order than a request, she just looked up at me confused.

Reiner was looking at me with that look again, he knew why I was being nice and he didn't agree with my intentions. Bertholdt on the other hand had no clue, either that or he’s decided to keep his mouth shut about the subject like Ymir has, but i doubt it will be long till Reiner will tell him, then I'll have him on my back about it as well. Rolling my eyes I turn around and leave, I didn't need another lecture from him I don’t even see what the huge fuss about it is seriously, It’s just a little fun no need to make a big deal out of it.

Like always Reiner dropped me home he kept quiet about what went down today which was a relief. Digging around in my bag I pull out my keys and swing the door open, dropping my bag at the bottom of the stairs. I could hear my dad’s tattoo gun going up stairs so I assume he has a customer my dad runs a home tattoo business, and since he’s one of the best in our area he gets a lot of customers meaning he gets a heap of money from his business. He’s the reason i’m so into art, I saw him drawing a lot when i was growing up so I eventually picked up a pencil myself and started to draw. My room had posters and drawings up on the walls everywhere, to my father's dismay, he originally told me not to hang anything up on my walls but I ended up doing so anyway, he didn’t mind so much though. 

I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling, “I have to go visit mum again soon” I said to no one in particular. I was very young when my mum passed away, but I can still remember her fairly well. She was beautiful and always smiling, she never got mad and had a calm personality, I wish I had more time to get to know her but I didn’t get that luxury, I really miss her I always have. I remember her always being in bed due to her illness, and on the odd occasion that she was out of bed she was sitting out on the balcony, she passed away when I was six. The last thing she told me was to stay strong, and I have, I grew up a lot faster than most children my age did so most children out cast me, until I entered middle school that's when people started to view me differently.

It wasn’t long until there was a knock at the door, knowing my dad probably wouldn’t hear it over the tattoo gun I grunt and jump up off my bed. When I got to the door i was slightly shocked at who I saw, Mikasa stood at my door my jacket slung over her arm,   
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to return your jacket.” I look behind her to check if she’s alone and smile to myself.  
“Come inside”  
“No it’s fine, I really shouldn’t”  
“I wasn’t asking” It was so easy to boss her around it was almost sad, but finally she gave in and walked inside hesitantly. Once inside I grab her arm and lead her to my room, closing the door behind me, when i turned around Mikasa was looking at all the drawings on my walls and desk,  
“Like what you see?” I ask breaking the silence, she nods and turns to me,  
“You’re very talented with a pencil” She says it like she's never seen any of my stuff before, I mean we're both in the same art class, it’s a bit weird she's never seen anything of mine before now. 

Closing the distance between us and grab her wrists firmly pulling her closer towards me.  
“You know that’s not the only thing I’m talented at,” Mikasa looks at me with a mixture of panic and confusion, I start to close the distance between us but she turns her head to the side.  
“Annie… st-”  
“If you truly want me to stop then push me away” I cut her off harshly, snaking my arm around her waist pulling her even closer against me and cupping her cheek with my other hand. She instantly flushed crimson, she made no further attempt to stop me so I take that as my invitation, closing the gap between us I press my lips to her surprisingly soft ones. It didn’t take long for her to start to kiss back and wrap her arms around me, but that's not what shocked me the most. What truly shocked me was that this actually felt somewhat good. What’s happening to me? I shouldn't be enjoying this. I hate her guts. But why does this make me want to never let go?


	4. Cold metal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Rape (Not in full detail. Barely any detail) Suicide attempt and cutting. I'm only planning on having one more chapter with a suicide attempt... But why that happens is a secret. Yes i'm horrible, but i like angst with a happy ending. And that's exactly what this story is. So i hope everyone lasts till the end of it

Mikasa’s POV 

I left Annie’s house feeling small, not because I hated what she did or she said something to offend me. But more because that someone as small as Annie could so easily take control over me, leaving me speechless in the process. She had a sort of power to her that made me lose my mind for a minute, so I could no longer process any thought, it was strange but also at the same time I liked it. I like her. I have for a while now, but decided to keep it a secret, even from Eren.

Walking up my driveway I notice that Eren’s car isn’t there, he was probably at Armin’s place or had a football game this afternoon that I forgot about. But my stomach instantly sunk as soon as I realized whose car was in the driveway, it was Grisha’s, my adoptive fathers. I thought of just turning around and going elsewhere, maybe Sasha’s or maybe even back to Annie’s house, she did offer for me to stay after all and now I really wish I had of. Instead of turning away i assure myself that maybe he’s asleep or in his study so I could sneak up to my room without him noticing. 

Quietly opening the door I slip inside, so far no sign of him so i turn back around and lock the door putting my keys back into my bag and start to walk upstairs. I almost reach my room when I hear a door open down the hall,   
“Well aren’t you late home today?” A slurred drunken voice called out from behind me. My blood ran cold so fast that I felt as if I’d been dumped into a meat locker for the past hour, why did Eren have to be out, why did Levi have to be still at school marking papers, why did i refuse Annie’s offer to stay over at her place. If one of those things were different I’d be perfectly fine and my anxiety levels wouldn’t be bursting out the roof right now. But they weren’t different, and I was home alone for possibly the next few hours with him, I wanted to run back down stairs and out the door but knowing my luck he’d catch me. 

Afraid to answer I just stood there frozen on the spot, my mind screaming at me to run, it was only till i heard footsteps that I decided to make a run for it, I’d made it halfway down the stairs and i thought for sure I could easily make it the rest of the way then I’d be fine. But strong arms grabbed my arm pulling me around to face him, tears well in my eyes as it sinks in that I was caught,   
“Trying to run away are we? I’ll have to punish you for that” He smirks at me in a way that makes me want to throw up, it’s sickening, he’s the reason I am the way I am, it’s all his fault.  
“Please, just let me go. Just let me go!” I scream in his face starting to cry, but all i go was a slap across the face and a stinging cheek. 

The next few minutes were a blur as I was dragged up stairs into my room, struggling to get away with no success, and thrown down on my bed. As I hear the sound of his zipper going down I start to whimper,  
“Please, stop, I don’t want to do this anymore, I never have wanted to do this, Please just stop!” I scream trying to get up but as soon as he saw this he instantly pinned me down with his strong grip. “Shut up! You’re my property you little bitch!” He shouts roughly pulling my pants down, my shirt up over my eyes so I couldn’t see what he was doing and some sort of cloth shoved into my mouth to gag me. Seconds after my whole body was plunged into agonizing pain as he thrusts into me roughly, I scream loudly into the gag but it was so muffled that even if someone was down stairs they wouldn’t be able to hear me. I wanted someone to come home, Levi, Eren anyone. I wanted to be saved. I want someone to save me from this hellish nightmare. But no matter how much I cry and scream it just makes him go rougher and harder, it encourages him to punch me and hit me with things like his belt while violating me, he leaves bruises, hickeys and cuts all over me. When ever he sees my cuts on my thighs he slaps them, and makes them open up again.I don’t even know what I did to deserve this, or why he targets me of all people. 

When he finally finished he left the room leaving me curled up on my bed crying, I pull my shirt down and spit the gag out. Eren still wasn’t home and by the looks of what time it is neither would Levi, he usually comes over at around seven to help cook dinner, but something tells me he won’t be coming over tonight. An hour later I hear Eren walk through the door and yells from downstairs telling me that his dad will be done making dinner in about half an hour, the thought of having to go down stairs and sit across the table from Grisha made me want to just lock myself in my room. 

I decide I have enough time to take a bath, except I want this one to be my last. I turn on my music and put the volume up to high then wait until the bath was full then sat in the hot tub, staring off at the sharp silver piece of metal sitting on the palm of my hand which once belonged to a razor I pulled apart. Eventually the memories of what just happened and all the times before washed over me like a huge wave, making me cry again as I start to drag the cold metal across my wrists, making deep long gashes making sure not to go as deep to hit a vein. 

I tried so desperately to wash away the blunt pain from today and every other time, with the sharp pain the razor was giving me. Replacing one kind of pain with another probably sounds absurd, but it works, the pain is the only thing that convinces me I’m still alive and not living in some sort of nightmare that I can’t escape. So many things were running through my mind, the sexual abuse, the verbal abuse, the fact that everyone at my school hates me, I'm an outcast. An outcast with no place in this world that's how I feel, how I’ve always felt ever since I lost my parents.

Wasn’t long till the water was tinted a pinkish colour from my blood, my cry had died down and everything went quiet, not even my music got through to me. I started to feel light headed and dizzy, all I want to do is go to sleep, and so I did. I let my eyes close and the darkness embraces me in it’s welcoming arms, pulling me deeper and deeper into an inescapable abyss. 

Eren’s POV

“Mikasa” I call to her for the third time, but still get no answer. She’s had her music louder than this before and could still hear me calling her, but for some reason she isn’t responding. Groaning I walk upstairs and open Mikasa’s door but she’s nowhere in sight, but I could hear her music coming from the bathroom. Knocking on her bathroom door i wait for an answer but get none.

“Mikasa it’s Eren are you in there? You missed dinner.. again” But still no answer, ‘Mikasa?” I call out again getting slightly more worried, “Mikasa open the door you're starting to scare me.” This was beyond a joke, it’s unlike her to go this far as a joke, “Mikasa, I’m coming in” I call loud enough for her to hear, hesitantly opening the door in case she just had her earphones in and was still naked. 

Stepping inside the bathroom I look over to the bath, the colour of the water catching my eye first and then my sister with her face under the water, her face slightly blue. My heart stops at seeing this, panicking I quickly pull her out of the water and onto the cold tiles of her bathroom, my first instinct is the check her pulse. It was so faint it almost wasn’t there, what could of driven her to do this again? after so long of being suicide attempt clean, it was clear that I’d have to give her CPR, there was probably water stuck in her lungs.

Not long after I finished giving her air again after the second set of compressions she started to cough. As soon as I heard her start to cough I quickly roll her onto her side so she doesn't re swallow all that water again, the water escaped her mouth quickly, and I was surprised by the amount, she’d swallowed so much water that I’m surprised she isn’t already dead. I lift her up and hug her to me tightly trying to warm her up, but also because I was afraid for a second that I had actually lost her. I run my hand soothingly through her hair and up and down her arm, not even thinking about what I was about to say I snap,   
“Why the hell would you do this again? Don’t you care that you’d leave me behind you stupid girl?” Not until she started crying did I understand how harsh my words came out, she started to tremble so I quickly reached for her towel and wrapped it around her, she didn’t even seem to care that i saw her naked.

“I-I’m so s-sorry Eren, but you should have j-just left me to die… I just want to die” She sobbed into my shirt her words catching me off guard. I move her off me and stand up ignoring how wet my shirt and pants were from where she was curled up on me, my mind still on what she said,  
“What kind of brother would I be if I let you die? I’ll go get dad to check on you to make sure you're fine.” Turning to leave I open the door but my shirt got roughly grabbed stopping me from walking,   
“No! Please, don’t. Eren please” As confused by the request as I was i decided to drop it not wanting to push her while in the state she’s in currently. 

“Alright, I won't. Can you stand by yourself?” I sigh looking down at her. She shook her head so I scooped her up in my arms and carried her to her bed, laying her down gently afraid I was going to hit her wrists or thighs. She pulls her blankets over her then throws her towel on the floor,   
“Mikasa… I saw the bruises… and the hickeys… and bite marks, you know you can tell me anything right?” I got no answer instead she rolled over so her back was facing me, confirming something was wrong.

I know I can’t push her to tell me what was going on but it still doesn’t stop me from worrying,  
“Mikasa this is serious, if you were pushed to do something against your will you need to tell me.” But what I got was even more silence, until finally she pulled the blankets over her head,   
“Eren, just drop it. Okay?” Giving up on trying to question her I stand up only to be tugged back down again, “ Can you please stay? Just until I fall asleep.” She may as well just tell me to get in bed with her, I lay down next to her on top of the sheets not gain enough to get under the covers, her bed was a double so it was easy for both of us to fit on there without one of us falling off.

After we both got settled she started to cry again, all I could do was offer her as much support as i can right now. She finally calmed down enough to fall asleep, like always playing with her hair calmed her down. It was hard to support someone who I have no clue what’s going on since she never tells me what's wrong anymore, recently she’s just shut me out. Hopefully one day she’ll decide to open up, until that day I’ll continue to support her and be there for her when she needs someone to cry on. It’s all I can do until then.

 

Mikasa’s POV

My body ached so much the pain was impossible to ignore, my lower abdominal area hurt the most. This has been going on ever since I started high school, I just came home one day and he was drunk and took all his rage out on me sexually. The abuse hurts, then it kills. It’s always worse the next day. 

Rolling over onto my side I see that Eren is still in my bed asleep, I quietly sit up making sure I don’t wake Eren up and look over at my clock on the bedside table, the red blinking digits reading six fifty seven. Slipping out of bed i quickly get dressed and slip out the door, Eren’s always been a heavy sleeper so I didn't need to worry about being quiet, knowing him he'd probably be able to sleep through a tornado. 

The air was cool outside, to my luck I could escape the house without getting caught by Grisha since Eren’s asleep he’d probably have his way with me again, he has no mercy he wouldn't care if I was sore or screaming and crying stuff like that encourages him to be rougher. He use to be so nice but ever since Carla passed away he's been abusive and takes his anger out on me, but he still hasn't changed with how he treats Eren, only me.

I've probably neglected to mention this up until now but Annie lives just next door to me we've been neighbors since primary when her family and her moved over from Russia. And if the wasn't enough her window is literally right across from mine, yes that sounds like a scene from a movie I know, and if you're thinking that if she lives right next door wouldn't she hear what's going on with the whole Grisha thing? Well no, he always shuts the blinds and we have sound proof walls.

Across from my house is a small park, I usually go there to think or to get my mind off things. It’s quiet and no one here to bother me I pull my knees up to my chest and bury my face into my knees, I’ve been planning to run away for a while now only thing is I wouldn’t know where to go and if I did end up running away I don’t want to go alone.

I look up as soon as I hear footsteps walking towards me, eyes locking with icy blue ones. A bit surprised at how close she was I fell backwards onto the ground, Annie laughing at me. I sit up and look her up and down, she was in black jeans boots and a button up red flannelette shirt with a leather jacket over the top, her hands were covered in car grease and there was another smug on her face.   
“Why are you covered in grease?” I ask confused, she smirked at me and pulled a spanner out her back pocket, I scoff at her “Seems like you’ve had fun this morning.”   
“I decided to give this guy I know some payback for hurting this pretty cool girl I like.” Even more confused I stand up brushing myself off.   
“And who’s this girl you're referring to?”  
“I think you know exactly who she is.” Annie stepped forward, wrapping her arms around my waist pulling me close to her, she slipped her hands just under the hem of my shirt and ran her nails up and down along the small of my back  
“You’re hands are freezing” I wince at how unexpectedly cold they were, but I don’t pull away from her. Annie’s face was almost always the same, she’s had the same stoic expression for years now. It’s not unpleasant, but it does make it hard to tell what she was thinking. 

Any normal person I would of pushed away by now, but for some reason her treating me like this doesn’t make me feel uncomfortable or uneasy. She’s different. Even so something deep down is telling me that all this is just a trick, my gut feelings are next to never wrong but I want to believe that what she's doing now is her being genuine and not her messing with me.

Annie leaned in pressing herself against me, kissing my neck softly making a trail from my lower neck up to my jaw line.   
“Annie... what am I to you?” She pulled away for a moment and looked at me with her straight face. It sends shivers down my spine every time she looks at me like this, even more so when I thought she hated me,   
“I'll have to get back to you with that one.” Deep down I feel like this is all just a sick joke and that she's messing with my feelings so her and her friends can go make fun of it later, I what to trust her but her past makes it hard.She played a hard game to read, I can’t read what she’s thinking by looking at her, I can’t tell how genuine her feelings are, I don’t know why she’s so desperately trying to get on my good side and flatter me. Is this all some weird attempt to win me over?

She notices I’m not going to say anything back and lets go of my waist, kissing me quickly on the lips before pulling away, the kiss almost over as quickly as it happened.  
“I’ll see you at school” She says over her shoulder, waving me a goodbye. She’s so mysterious, and cold, and arrogant, slightly narcissistic and cocky. And as much as I want to deny it, I like her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for swapping between POV's so much but I couldn't think of a way around it that wasn't weird sorry.


	5. Fall Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update again, I honestly had no clue how to continue this but I finally found a loop hole. So yay. And for those few who read this I hope you enjoy my new chapter.

Annie’s POV 

As per usual fourth period Science was an absolute bore, I contemplated on skipping with Reiner and Bertholdt but I didn't want to smell of smoke again. That brought up to many questions from my father the last time that happened. Science never really fascinated me much anyway, I saw no point to it, if it wasn't going to help me with my art career than I didn't want to be doing it. It’s as simple as that. But my dad still insists on me including Science in my subject selection, which is a real pain in my ass. No one I particularly like is in my Science class, there’s Hitch but she annoys me to the point of wanting to kick her into a wall. So I try to avoid interactions with her by sitting on the opposite side of the class room from her, but even then sometimes that doesn’t work, and today just happens to be one of those days where I couldn’t get away from sitting with her. Hitch leaned over and poked my arm to get my attention, I grunt quietly but look over at her anyway. “What?” I snap, usually that would make most people flinch or back off, but for some reason it seems ineffective on Hitch. “Are you dating the Ackerman girl? There have been some rumours going around that you’ve been getting real friendly with her” Her smirk almost made me want to hit her there and then, I guess I knew eventually that rumours would start to make their way around the school, it was only a matter of time before they did. Not that they really bothered me much anyways, rumours are just rumours and the people stupid enough to listen to them are dimwits. “No I’m not dating her, It’s all just a joke if anything, and she stupid enough to believe I’m being serious. Why would I date someone like that? Come on I thought you knew me better than that.”

Me dating Ackerman. Now that was a joke. Hitch just smiled then went back to her work, for once, I was surprised she actually asked a half decent question for once, instead of asking for my answers to the work we were doing. She was always asking to copy my work, she would even make the effort to come half way across the room just to ask to copy my work. Five minutes till the bell I started packing up when someone knocked at the classroom door, I paid no attention to it though and kept packing away my pencils and pens. “Annie Leonhardt, can you please come with me” At hearing my name I look up and see Levi standing at the front of the classroom, everyone in the room going silent and I pick up my stuff and follow him out the door. The whole walk to his office was completely silent, when we reached his office he held the door open as I walked in and sat at one of the chairs in front of his desk. “Couldn’t this of waited until after class Mr Ackerman?” I ask as he walked around his desk and sat down. “No, you have a tendency of skipping your fifth period Maths class on Wednesdays, and your impossible to find at breaks” Noticing how I fell silent at the mention of how I skip Maths Levi spoke up, “Don’t worry I’m not here to talk about why you skip most of your classes, If your getting fairly decent grades you must be doing something right I guess.” 

I sigh in relief, “Then why am I here?” I ask starting to get worried. Levi sighed and rested his elbows on the desk, interlocking his finger and resting his chin on them. “As you probably know my little sister is in your grade, and shares some classes with you.” My stomach started to sink and I felt my whole body go cold, ‘Oh shit he knows.’ I hum and nod my head, trying not to talk encase my voice cracks, I’m usually not one to be afraid of teachers but for some reason the though of Levi being mad sent shivers down my spine. “I know you two never really got along that much until recently, but you’ve known her since primary. I wanted to know if you think she’s been acting strange. And I don’t mean because of the bullying, I figured she may of told you something that maybe going on out side of school, something she refuses to tell me or Eren.” Relief rushes through me at the fact that he didn’t call me in about the fact I’m only using his sister. “Now that I think about it she did seem really hesitant to leave my house the other day, and when I saw her the next morning she was out in the park across from her house at like six in the morning, and she was... jumpy. When I walked up to her she had this terrified look on her face.” I’d never really put much though into why she changed so drastically in so little time, and she wasn’t the kind of person to go this way after bullying. She was stronger than that, that’s why it makes no sense. “Well thank you Annie, you can go now. But if you find out anything can you please tell me, I’m really worried about her.” I nod and exit Levi’s office, by the time I walked out the bell had already gone and the hallway was in between busy and almost vacant, telling me I was in his office for longer than I thought. While I was walking to my locker it seemed as if everyone who remained in the hall ways were starring at me. God it was annoying, the one thing I hate is starring, like if your gonna look that at least do it so it’s not so obvious to the whole world that your starring.

By the time I made it to my locker the locker room was completely cleared out for once, I pack my books away and make my way to the schools gym. Barely anyone ever uses it apart from a few people occasionally, but most the time when I decide to go in there it’s empty and I have the gym to myself. The only way to really be aloud in the gym is if you have a gym pass, and most the students are to lazy to get their parents to sign for them to get one. But in a way it works in my favour because there are no pervert guys just in their to check out girls, one of the reasons why the school made up the rule that you had to get a pass. i went to reach for the gym door but before I could get a chance to grab it, it got swung open forcing me to step backwards to avoid getting hit by the door. I look up and see Eren storming out of the gym with a pissed look on his face which softened when he saw me, and started apologising for almost hitting me with the door before walking off. 

Confused I walk into the gym the only other person in the gym was Mikasa, who seemed more interested in practically beating a punching bag half to death. I walk up behind her and watch her technique a while before commenting “Your forms wrong.” Mikasa jumps and swings around giving me a glare before turning back around, completely ignoring my comment. “That was cold, what happened to you? Does it have anything to do with why Eren seemed so pissed off?” Getting no reply once again. “Here I’ll show you” I sigh and walk closer behind her, firmly grabbing her waist, I was about to pivot her until I heard Mikasa cry out in pain, freezing once she realised what she has just done, “Don’t touch me” She said quietly, I can’t see her face but my guess is that she’s probably embarrassed, “Mikasa what’s wrong?” I said loosening my grip on her waist I grab her wrist and spin her around to face me. “Annie let go.” Mikasa begged her voice laced with pain, “Why?” I ask firmly squeezing her wrist tighter to make sure she wouldn’t get away. Tears started to dwell in her eyes and she tried harder to pull away from my grip, “Please Annie, you’re hurting me.” I frown and let go, Mikasa sighing in relief and sat down on one of the machines leaning back an closing her eyes. Going to put my hand in my pocket I felt something wet, opening my hand I gasp seeing as how it was covered in blood. 

I look over at the ravenette’s wrist, there was blood seeping through her thin jumper. More than just a little bit curious I grab her hand, she didn’t seem to fussed until I started to pull her sleeve up. To make sure she didn’t get away I grip her hand hard enough I know she won’t be able to escape, I pulled her sleeve up to her elbow then turned it over so her palm was facing up, instantly feeling sick in the pit of my stomach when I see all the cuts going up her arm, there had to be at least thirty, some just thin shallow cuts others deep. By this time Mikasa has already broken into tears, I pull her sleeve back down over the cuts and I start to lift up her shirt making her squirm and make noises of dissaproval, but this time instead of cuts their were bruises, bite marks, hickies, and what seemed to be whip marks. “Mikasa what the hell is this?!” I felt my anger rising, but not at her, no I was mad at who ever did this. Its not like I care about her or anything, I just hate seeing people getting mistreated like this. Her shaking intensifies and so does her crying, but she just turns her face away, “Is this what your brother was mad about? Because you wouldn’t tell him what happened” She nodded and weakly tried to pull her arm away again. “Well guess what? I’m not your brother and I’m not letting you go until you tell me what the fuck happened to you” I say firmly making her shake again, “Mikasa!” Everything inside me snapped, making me scream at her and at the same time I saw something ignite in her eyes, “What do you think happened? Isn’t it obvious. Your just torturing me but making me say it!” It feels like the real her is back almost, the fire in her eyes that she had lost for a long time was back, “I was fucking raped okay? Are you happy now?!” The fire disappeared as fast as it had came and was replaced with sadness, tears streaming down her face. 

She pushed herself off the machine and onto the ground, falling into my chest clenching onto my shirt as she cries into my chest. Something inside me starts to hurt, Its something I’ve only felt once and that was when my mum died. So why was I feeling it again now? I wrap my arms around her and tightly hug her stroking her hair, trying to offer her as much comfort as I could. Normally I would just get up and leave, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to do that to her. “Who did this to you?” Mikasa buried her face deeper into my chest, “I don’t know who he is” when she talked it came out muffled but I could still understand what she was saying. She’s lying, of course she knows who the guy is who did this, she just doesn’t trust me enough to tell me. Even then I don’t blame her, but her lying to me left a ping of pain in my chest.

“Mikasa” I wasn’t really looking for an answer, but nether the less she still looked up at me, when I looked into her eyes it made that strange feeling in my stomach come back. I cup her face in my hands and wipe her tears away with my thumbs, “Your not alone anymore” I let go of her face and grab onto her ass making her jump, and pull her up onto my lap. I wrap my arms around her neck snaking one hand to the back of her head “Annie?” I give her a small reassuring smile and guide her down to my lips, she instantly stopped crying, closed her eyes and deepened the kiss, it felt like electricity was running through my body. I have no clue what it is but I want more of it, she ran her hands up my sides and into my shirt stopping at my waist, they were warm and made my skin tingle. I felt Mikasa grin against my lips then her tongue slip past my lips into my mouth. Her tongue fighting to gain dominance with mine, after a while I let her take control, we were both to transfixed on what was happening to hear the gym door open. “Annie!” Mikasa and I both pull away from each other quickly and look towards the gym door, and there was Reiner glaring down at me and Bertholdt behind him looking off to the side, trying to avoid eye contact for some reason. “So this is where you were” He crossed his arms, and didn’t look the least bit happy, I go to open my mouth but was cut off instantly. “Just get your stuff and come on we’re ready to go” He groaned, him and Bertholdt walking out of the gym door shutting it behind them. Looking down at Mikasa who was still by the looks of it still confused to what just happened, I collect my stuff and give her an apologetic smile leaning down to kiss her on the cheek, “I’m coming over to yours after school today, no questions asked. Bye love don’t hurt yourself.”

Running out the door I give her no time to take the opportunity to say anything in return, Reiner and Bertholdt were already waiting outside the gym for me, Bert staring off into space and Reiner giving me a disappointed look, “Shut up. I know what your gonna say, so save your breath and don’t bother” I put my hand up to him stopping him from saying out loud what he was thinking. “Why bother not like your going to listen to me anyway” I roll my eyes at him and walk ahead of them to behind the Performing Arts hall, I open the back door making my way through to a part of backstage no one ever uses, which is thankfully out of sight as well. Reiner and Bertholdt throw their bags down on the ground and sit down next to me, we always skip classes together and hang out back here. We found this place back in our first year of high school, I made it a rule that Reiner wasn’t aloud to smoke while around me anymore since the smell somehow always seems to cling itself onto me, then I have to explain to my dad that I don’t smoke and it was just the ‘girls in the bathroom’ who always smoke. He never questions me further after that. 

I slip in my earphone and turn my music on blocking everything else out, while the two boys just talk about all kinds of random stuff that doesn’t interest me one bit, usually why I zone out when they have their convocations with each other, they always seem to make their way onto a topic I don’t give a fuck about. I wasn’t aware Bertholdt was calling my name until her reached over and tugged on my earphones making them fall out of my ears. “Annie why have you got blood on your hands” they were both paying attention to the blood on my hands, I completely forgot that I needed to wipe off, both of them looking equally as worried as the other, “It’s not mine, calm down” I go through my bag and pull out some wipes to clean off the blood, don’t ask why I carry them with me, “Then who’s is it? Annie you didn’t get into any fights did you?” Reiner asked, it felt like I was being interrogated by the two, I shake my head and he continues to stare me down. 

“It’s Mikasa’s okay geez, she had cuts on her wrist. When I grabbed her I must have opened them up again” I finish cleaning the blood off me and toss the wipe into the closest bin to us on the other side of the small room. “Cuts?” Bertholdt seemed even more curious now than before, “I didn’t imagine her to be that type” Reiner added. “Neither did I till I saw them. And not to mention she’s covered in bruises, hickeys and whip marks you name it” Reiner and Bertholdt go silent putting two and two together, “Shit” Reiner cursed under his breath. Fishing into my bag again I pull out my small flask of Jack Daniels mixed with Coke, it burned as it went down and god did it feel amazing. “I thought you said you quit drinking” Bertholdt said raising his eyebrows at me, Reiner started to laugh and I laugh with him “And you took that seriously. I only said that because I was hung over.” Bertholdt mumbled something under his breath and rolled his eyes at us “A drinker and a smoker ” he mumbled loud enough to be heard this time. “And a gay” I add raising my flask before taking another drink, enjoying the burning sensation as it ran down my throat. “I’m not gay” Bert snapped back at me, “Sure, sure” Both Reiner and I say together, Bertholdt decided to take the matter no further and just left it where it was. We shared small talk up until the final bell of the day rang, when we all pack our stuff up and went our separate ways. Tonight was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys want longer chapters say so in the comments please, ill gladly make them longer if people want me to, i Love reading all your comments :). Thank you hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	6. Tea and Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at chapter names but oh well. If your faint hearted then this story isn't for you, this chapter holds strong sexual content, you have been warned. If you don't like that sort of stuff then stop reading now. Hope you enjoy my new chapter sorry for the wait. Sorry in advace for this chapter

Mikasa’s POV  
Everyone would always tell you things get better. But really things just get more challenging and harder to face as you get older, each harder to face. Everything gets sugar coated to you by adults through your whole life. I wish I had of known how much harder my life would of gotten when I was young. When my parents died I thought my life couldn’t get any worse, but then the sexual abuse started, the bullying, then the depression. It was like a tsunami, everything was quiet the pain rushed away then crashed over me in a hug wave, that knocked me off my feet. I dump my bag in the corner of my room and fall backwards onto my bed, pulling the throw rugs on my bed around me into a makeshift fortress of blankets. I grab hold of a pillow and cover my face, Annie probably wasn’t going to be over for a while if she planned on staying the night, meaning she was probably getting clothes packed and what not. She took today surprisingly well considering, it almost leads me to think why she took it so well. The silence in the house was broken by Eren was raging down the hall again, most likely because Levi beat him in another game of his, he is such a sore loser. I don’t even how he gets Levi to play the X-box with him, when I can barely get him to text me back most the time. Then again he’s like that with everyone, even Eren, so it makes me feel a little better.

I’m so bloody glad its Friday afternoon, it means I wont have to see all the bitches and wankers at school till Monday. Levi was staying the weekend and Annie was staying for god knows how long, so I feel a little safer for the weekend. I smile at the thought of Annie, and how she was with everything today how she didn’t call me an idiot, how she didn’t yell at me and say I was mentally fucked up, it was nice. My bedroom door opened and closed, assuming it was Eren getting something out of my room I kept the pillow on my face, “Eren what ever you take better magically make it’s way back into my room, and not stay in yours.” No response. The bed sunk next to me and I grunt “Eren go cuddle with your boy toy for crying out loud” I got no response one again and the shifting stopped. That’s when I felt a pair of lips press against my neck and I knew straight away who it was, I stiffen in fright he wasn’t seriously going to do this right now was he? There’s no way. “Keep your voice down or I’ll make you regret it” He growled, his hot breath brushing against my neck making me feel even more uncomfortable. I could scream, I could scream out to Eren and Levi they would come straight away, but what then? What would happen to me if I did do that? How would Eren react? This was revolting the way he touched me, It was sick. I hated it, it made me wasn’t to throw up, but I was also scared, scared he’d hurt me like he does when I misbehave. He pushed the pillow off my face and grinned, he was seriously twisted, his hand slipping up my shirt. My whole body already ached from last time, I couldn’t take this again it’s to much. 

His hand made its way up to my chest and firmly grabbed hold on one of my breasts, squeezing it tightly enough to make me almost cry out. He releases me and pulls me upwards so I’m now sitting up, “Stand up in front of the bed” I follow his instructions and stand up facing him, not wanting to make eye contact I stare at the ground, “Strip.” My eyes widen and my stomach sinks, “W-what” my voice comes out shaky and I feel like punching myself for showing him weakness. “I said, strip” He wasn’t asking, no it was more of a command. Still partially shocked I slowly shrug off my jacket, followed my shirt and pants and throwing them neatly into a pilled leaving me in my bra and panties and leaving me completely venerable to him, “Everything Mikasa” He grinned knowing fairly well out of fear I would follow his instructions. I slowly unhook my bra and slide my panties off covering my now completely exposed body. “I heard from Eren that one of your friends is staying over” His voice was casual but he still held that same smirk, I nod and rub my thighs together getting extremely embarrassed by the way his eyes wandered over my body. “I better make this quick than” He slipped his pants off and grabbed my wrist pulling my closer “Turn around” his tone as harsh and piercing as always, I obey his commanded and turn around and now I’m really starting to panic, not being able to see what he’s doing really freaks me out.

Shock risen in me and he grabbed hold of my ass squeezing it tightly, spreading my legs apart along with my ass cheeks, tracing his fingers over an area which he’d never bothered to touch before till now. “W-what are you doing?” I jump away from him, which just earned me a slap on the ass then being pulled back into his reach, “Be good for me okay?” He bit me hard on the ass then slapped it again, only harder this time, taking a strong hold to my hips he pulled me down, lining himself up and thrusting half his length into me. I scream out in pain tears starting to form, it wasn’t long until I heard footsteps running up to my door “Mikasa are you okay?” Eren’s voice called out, followed by Levi “What’s going on in there?” they both sounded equally as worried. I wanted to scream out for them to help me but Grisha only grabbed my hips tighter and forced me down the rest of the way, as a way to say ‘don’t you dare’. I mustered up a normal voice and called back “I’m fine, I just slipped onto my bed” Eren and Levi went silent, and Grisha started to pull me up then slam me back down onto him, the pain running through my entire body. “Do you want us to come in there?” my stomach sunk at the thought of them both seeing me like this, “Don’t you dare, I’m getting undressed” Grisha quietly laughed kissing up my neck. God I was going to be sick. “Okay, nope never mind” Eren called before running back down the hall. 

Half an hour later Grisha left my room and I once again felt sick, and after being woken up early every morning to having to throw up for the past few weeks. I grab my keys and burst out of my room running down the stairs, “Where are you going?” I jump and see Levi in the kitchen probably making coffee or something, “Out... I need to go to the pharmacy” I blurt out quickly, he raised an eyebrow at me “Okay I’ll drive you” I got to protest but he shut me off “No excuses, it’s raining, I don’t feel comfortable with you driving in the weather” He grabbed his keys and I followed him to his car, trying not to get wet on the way. I didn’t even notice that it was raining until he had told me. When we got back home it had stopped raining by the time we had gotten home, Levi stayed in the car because he didn’t want to get wet again, and didn’t bother questioning what I got after I told him I needed to get tampons which shut him up surprisingly quite quickly. Levi went up stairs while I stayed down since no one was down here it was the perfect opportunity to read the back of the pregnancy test box. I figured it would be exactly the same as what you usually see in the movies, how disappointing. “What the fuck?!” Yelled, sounding quiet angry I put the test back in the bag as I run up the stairs and walk into Eren’s room. Eren was laying on the bed with a manga tented on his chest, Annie was sitting next to him with drenched hair and wearing nothing but a T-shirt which looked so big on her, by the looks of it it was Eren’s, and underwear. How un-lady like, Levi had no clue what to think “What?” Eren was completely clueless to why Levi was even the slightest bit angry with him. 

Annie stood up and smiled, “It started raining really heavily on my way here, so my clothes were soaked” she explained and Levi nodded as she walked up to me and grabbed hold of my arm pulling her down the hall to my room. How in the hell she knew where my room was, was beyond me but I didn’t bother questioning it. “Does this make you feel uncomfortable?” her smile grew when she looked over at me, and I was guessing I was most likely blushing. Only because you look so sexy like this, “No, of course not.” Shutting the door behind me I put the pharmacy bag on my dresser and followed Annie over to where she was going through stuff on my desk, god she’s quick to look through things it’s like she’s never hear of privacy. “Could you not?” I growl annoyed at how nosey she was, I look over her shoulder and she was going through one of my art books. I hadn’t really cared much until she flipped to the page in which I had decided to draw her one class, feeling annoyed again at how she smirked, “You know your a good drawer Ackerman” looking over her shoulder her face was plain, no expression what so ever. Sighing I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me, and she put her hands over mine, god they are freezing cold. “You change moods quickly” she pointed out and I squeeze her waist a bit tighter, I already knew this without her pointing it out, not only do I have depression and paranoid personality disorder, I also have a really bad case of switch personality, which comes and goes a lot, but with the depression I guess that’s just normal.

Her breathing became faster making me smile, I pull her over to the bed and climb on top of her lifting her chin win my pointer and thumb, she kept a straight face but her breathing gave her away, I lean down and kiss her I needed this, I needed her right now. Annie pushed me away and looked up at me sadly, “Mikasa, why are you crying?” Lifting a hand to my cheek they feel wet, I hadn’t even been aware that I was crying until she pointed it out. “I’m sorry” I sobbed remembering what had happened before I went out, I tried distracting my thoughts until now but I just broke and I was now letting myself cry freely. Annie sat up and just watched me as I cried, she didn’t seem annoyed or sad herself she was just, straight faced no emotion again, she waited me out till I stopped crying still staring at me blankly.The room fell into silence which felt like hours but in reality was only a few minutes, until I decide to make the first move and break the silence “I’m sor-”  
“Ackerman” She said firmly in a cold tone, “Shut up.” I froze surprised at her tone, and her expression instantly softened when she saw the hurt look on my face, she sighed and stood up walking back over to the self where I keep all my movies, going through them picking out Pacific Rim and walking back over to the T.V looking really confused she started pressing random sections on my PlayStation four, “Where the hell is the on button?” she groaned angrily at the console. 

Giggling a little to myself I get up and turn on the PlayStation, “Its not a button, It’s a sensor,” not being able to help myself I begin to laugh again, “Oh shut up I’m use to an X-box, PlayStation is garbage,” seeing her frustrated over not being able to turn on a machine was kind of funny, just before she was so nonchalant and now she’s frustrated. “Actually PlayStation is the ideal console for anime fans, since anime games or just Asian games in general are most of the time PlayStation exclusives, and what does X-box have that a PS doesn’t? Halo?”  
“You can’t play Gears of War on a PS or Rise of the Tomb Raider” I was kind of surprised at how much of a gamer nerd she actually was she didn’t exactly seem like one at all. “That’s were your wrong Rise of the Tomb Raider is only a limited time X-box exclusive it’s getting released on the Ps4 in half a year or so” Smirking at the look of defeat on Annie’s face I walk over to my cupboard and pull out two bean bags and drag them over in front of the T.v, grabbing my console then plonking myself down on one of the beanbags my legs spread out in front of me. Annie followed me over and sat down between my legs and leaning her back against my chest, head rested against the crook of my neck grabbing my arms and wrapping them around her waist.

Fuck Fuck Fuck. This can’t be happening, she’s doing this on purpose to get me worked up I just know it. I shake it off the best I can and start up the movie, ignoring how fast my heart was beating right now, which no doubt Annie could already feel. I take a peak over at her face and as I expected she was grinning the freaking Cheshire cat himself, which was slightly disturbing and also creepy. And frankly her smugness was kind of pissing me off as of late, I wince a sharp pain shooting through the lower half of my body, reminding me of how much my ass hurt but I didn’t want to let on that I was in any pain in case Annie started to question it. And I would be in trouble then. I rested head against hers which made the blonde nuzzle herself into my neck even more, her hair was surprisingly soft, and even smelt amazing. God I was getting intoxicated... by Annie, the bitch I use to get into arguments all through middle school with, this wasn’t good. Sure I already knew I had fallen for her, I’ve fallen for her stubbornness, and ignorance, her annoying smug grin she carries when ever she held something over me, her scent, how cold her skin was and how cold and emotionless her eyes are usually even when she’s smirking, but most of all I’ve fallen for her because she’s Annie. She’s the Annie I hate to love and love to hate. She’s Annie the same Annie she’s always been but some how she’s different, but I just can’t put my finger on it. 

Towards the end of the movie Annie started to mumble nothing that made any sense, I slowly shift so I can look at her face and she was fast asleep. I grunt and contemplate how in the hell I’m going to get up without waking her. Eventually I managed to get up and carry her to my bed all without disturbing her, I sigh and quietly slip out of my room and quietly shut the door behind me. I hear another soft click of a closing door to my right and look over to see Levi, slipping out of Eren’s room. He looks over to me and sighs “Coffee?” he asked walking up to me, I nod and follow him down the stairs. I sat down at the marble kitchen counter and watched as Levi turned on the jug, the silence broken by the sound coming from the jug. “How close are you to Eren?” I finally asked after some debate, Levi kept his back to me and rested his hands on the counter, “Close enough that I could lose my job and get thrown in prison for being a paedophile” I’d known about their relationship for a while now but never really paid much attention to it until recently. I didn’t want to tell him not to do it, it was kind of weird having both of my brothers dating but then again I’m happy they are happy. “What about you and Annie?” The jug stopped boiling and he started to pour the water into our cups stirring it gently, “Leonhardt and I? God no” I scoffed, Levi turned around and placed my coffee down in front of me, although him and I were brother and sister we were the complete opposites of each other, for example I drink coffee while he drinks tea. 

“You try to hide it like its not already obvious.” I raise an eyebrow at him, “What do you mean?”  
“Mikasa... I’m twenty nine, I’m no idiot I know when someone is in love” He shook his head and took a sip of his tea. Was it really that obvious? I scull my coffee to get out of any more awkward convocations, putting the mug in the dishwasher. “Goodnight Levi,” I didn’t wait around for a response and made my way up to my room quickly, trying to avoid bumping into Grisha on the way as well. I slip into my room quietly in hopes not to wake Annie, and shut the door behind me. “What’s this?” Annie’s voice startling me, making me jump it was that dark I didn’t even notice she was awake and nor could I see that much myself, “Shit you scared me” My eyes finally start to adjust to the dark and I can now see where Annie was standing. “Answer me” her tone made my stomach sink, I walk to where she is and notice she was holding a small box in her hand. It wasn’t until my eyes adjusted properly that I could see what It was, my blood runs cold at the site of Annie holding the pregnancy test box up. Shit.


	7. Positive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I had a little bit of writers block and couldn't figure out what to write. Also why this chapter isn't that long, I couldn't really think of anything to extend on and just wanted to get this chapter up

Annie’s POV

Mikasa stared back at me in shock frozen still, she opened her mouth a few times to go say something but shuts it again instantly. I wanted to be mad at her, but I just couldn’t be, it wasn’t her fault if she was pregnant I know that but still. I throw the box at Mikasa and she catches it, looking down at the box then up at me, “Go, use it. I want to know the results” I tried to sound less angry, but Mikasa still had on a shameful look as she walked hesitantly to the en-suite and shutting the door behind her. It killed me seeing her so upset and I don’t even know why, why the fuck do I care all of a sudden? This was all just a joke to get back at her for how she was in primary, so why do I feel like that’s not the only reason I’m doing this anymore. 

Walking over to the raven’s bedside table I flick on the lamp and sit down on the bed waiting for Mikasa, who was taking surprisingly long. After six minutes I got impatient and barged into the bathroom, I hear quiet sobbing but from where? I couldn’t see her anywhere. I walk further into the bathroom and Mikasa was curled up on herself on the side of the basin opposite to the one as you walk in, she had a towel bunched up in her lap muffling her crying and I feel my stomach sink. 

Looking around for the test I spot it in her hand the side that didn’t show the results in fisted hand, I walk over to her hesitantly and pull it out of her hand startling her, “No please, don’t look at it.” I completely ignore her and look anyway, feeling sick at the result. Positive. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Annie” her crying intensifies and I lower myself down to her level, she was shaking so much it hurt seeing her like this. I snake my left arm underneath her knees and my right under her arms, lifting her up with no trouble I carry her out to her bedroom and lower her down onto her bed. 

She sat up but her crying didn’t stop, no human could treat a girl like this an not feel pity at all, I swear when I find out who did this I will make them regret it. I was caught of guard when the raven crawled over to me and buried her face into the crook of my neck, I could feel a smile tug onto her face as I wrapped an arm around he waist. “You smell really nice” She said out loud, and I could feel my cheeks burning up because of the comment, “Annie?” Her voice came out soft and shaky from crying, I hum telling her that I heard her, “I think I’ve fallen for you” she whispers into my ear sending a shiver down my spine. 

Gripping her shoulders I pull her away so I can look at her, Mikasa’s eyes were red from crying and she had on a straight face, which reassured me she wasn’t lying. She looked away from me trying to avoid looking in my eyes, as I stared back at her. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about her, if I loved her or hated her I wasn’t sure, I was still trying to figure that out, still trying to figure out if I was actually lesbian or not. I was deep in thought when I got roughly pushed back, my back slamming onto the bed, Mikasa’s towering form hovering above me as I still blinked in confusion to what had just happened. 

Hesitantly she lowered her face down to mine and butterfly kissed me on the lips, then burying her face into my neck. Sighing I lay my head back and look up at the ceiling, her hand gabbing mine in which I didn’t think much about until she placed my hand on something soft and squishy. Not paying much attention to where my hand was I squeeze what ever was in my hand, earning a moan from the girl on top of me, bringing me to realise where my hand was. I go to snatch my hand away but she quickly holds it in place. “Please” she begged into my ear, I could feel my face flush and something funny happened to my stomach. “I can’t do this, not after what you’ve been through recently” Pushing her away she looked at me with sad eyes. “That’s why I want you to do it. I can feel him on me... a-and I-I don’t want that anymore.” 

Suddenly I understood why she wanted me to do it. Some how she thinks me doing this will erase what he did, get the feeling of that pig off her. I grab hold of her shoulders and flip us so she’s underneath me. “I won’t have sex with you, I can’t. Not while your like this. But I think there is something else I can do that may work the same,” She looked slightly disappointed but still nodded never the less, “But I’m going to need you to take of your shirt and pants is that okay?” Confusion was written on her face but she nodded again and raised her hips so she could get her pants off, and then threw them on the floor along with her shirt. 

Just like before she was covered in bruises, cuts, burns, hickies and quite a few scars on her thighs and hips almost unnoticeable over the on her leg cuts on her thighs. It was saddening, and made me depressed by just looking at them. The raven laid then head turned to the side into the pillow, I take hold of her arm and turn it over to the side the cuts were on and kiss them lightly. Starting with the cuts, then the bruises and burns, until I’ve kissed the marks on her body. When I look back up at Mikasa she there were tear stains on her cheeks and her eyes were watery. I grab hold of the blanket and pull it over her ducking under it myself and pulling her closer to me, eventually she cuddled up against me getting comfortable and then soon going still again. 

“What are you going to do from here?” I whisper to her, she shrugged “I don’t know. I don’t even want the fucking thing.” I could understand why she didn’t want it, but wasn’t referring to it as a thing a little harsh, I mean it can’t help who’s it’s father is. “So you’re going to have an abortion?” I was met with silence and I assume that she was ignoring me, until she started to lightly snore. I sigh, I had to admit I was tired but somehow I don’t think I’d be getting to sleep any time soon. 

The bright sun light pierced through my eyelids waking me up, somehow I must have fallen asleep last night but god knows when I was able to. In my sleep I had rolled over and was facing the window, what a pain in my ass. I sit up and yawn, taking a look next to me to find that Mikasa had disappeared, and she was no where in her room either. Groaning as I lift myself off the bed I notice my clothes were sitting folded at the end of the bed. I quickly get changed into my clothes and hang Eren’s shirt on the back of the chain at the desk.

Then walking towards the en suite to check if Mikasa’s might be in there, I open the door and peek inside and there she was in the middle of the bathroom drying her hair with nothing on, seeing her without clothes on leads me to wonder why she’s so self conscious when she has an hour glass figure, and the perfect amount of muscle, but she really needs to get a lock for the bathroom door. Mikasa looked over towards the open door and squealed crouching into a ball trying to cover herself, “Don’t you know how to knock?!” She yelled, her face strawberry pink from embarrassment trying to avoid eye contact as best as possible. “I have the same parts you have, there’s no need to be embarrassed.” She shot a glare at me and awkwardly wrapped a towel around herself and finally stood up.

“That’s not the point, not everyone is as proud of their body as you are,” I scoff at her and walk up behind her, “What’s there to be ashamed of? I’ve already seen you half naked, and there’s nothing wrong with your body from what I can tell.” Mikasa spins around to face me, backing up once she realises how close I am to her and bumps into the basin. She clenches onto her towel tightly as if she’s afraid it might fall off if she lets go. I roll my eyes “Fine I’ll go” I say then turn and leave the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. She’s the one who wanted to have sex last night, and now she’s pushing me out of a bathroom just because I saw her naked. 

I walk up to her desk and sit down on the chair, she didn’t have a computer or anything like that on the desk, it just seemed to be random pages of sketches on them. The desk draws were all filled with colour pencils, charcoal pencils, paints, clay, sculpting tools and all other art stuff. I had always knew she was into art but I never knew she was this heavily into it, I mean she’s the top of the class for art of course but still. I pull open the last draw and pull out the art book that was on top of a stack of more art books and start to flip through it. It was the one I was looking at yesterday before she snatched it away from me and put it away, that was strange, in fact she’s strange everything about her is strange. 

The bathroom door opens and I look over my shoulder, Mikasa was drying her hair with a towel. I turn back around and continue to flip through her art book, she seemed to like doing landscapes and people a lot, sometimes the occasional animal popped it’s way into her book. Next to all her drawings were realistic, it was amazing really, how much detail she could manage to do, when I struggle with animals style sometimes. I flipping through her book one drawing in particular catches my eye. It was a drawing of me, only the slightest bit creepy. I feel a weight on my shoulders and look behind me, Mikasa’s face inches away from mine, I turn back around so things didn’t get anymore awkward than what they just were. 

She was a talented at drawing but seriously why did she draw me? Exactly how long has she been having these feelings for me. That’s what I want to know. The weight is lifted off my shoulders as Milaca hangs up her towel behind her door, I shut the art book and return it back to its original place and stand up. “I should probably head home” I state plainly, I get a silent nod from Mikasa and I turn to leave as something grabs hold of my wrist spinning me back around. The force of the pulling get made me bump into Mikasa, as she let’s go of my wrist she leans down and cups my face, “Leaving without a good bye kiss? That’s cruel even for you.” Her voice was stern but still soft, catching me completely off guard, what game was she playing at here?

She places a soft kiss on may lips, and then pulls away smirking at me. My face flushes and I can feel the heat in my cheeks, I once again pull away saying a quick goodbye and leave her room shutting the door behind me.


	8. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Smut included in this chapter, and other sexual scenes. Don't like don't read.
> 
> I'm so sorry I haven't posted in a LONG time, I was having trouble thinking of what to write or more like how to write it... Anyways hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Love you all XX

Mikasa’s Pov   
Deep down I was hoping Annise would stay longer, I was kind of disappointment how early she left. I wanted to spend the day with her but I guess she must of had something she needed to do. Shrugging it off I make my way over to Eren’s room, opening the door and walking in, to my surprise Levi wasn’t a anywhere to be seen. And as always Eren’s was still asleep. I shaken his shoulder slightly and say him name trying to wake him up, but he just shooed my hand away, I try again calling his name louder this time and start to shake him a little bit harder. I grunt and turn to leave but he grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me down onto the bed with him, I look up to see if he’s awake but find he’s still asleep, God he’s a worry some times. “Levi” he mumbles in his sleep, he snakes an arm around my waist to pull me closed to him, my face buried into his chest.

We use to sleep together a lot when we were younger since Eren was a bit of an idiot and always scared himself by watching horror movies before bed. Meaning he would always been scared and come to sleep with me. Also when I first got adopted into the Jaeger family I was sad a lot due to my parents death so Eren would sleep with me so I wouldn’t be lonely. I can’t be bothered to try and get myself out of his grip right now so I just give in and close my eyes, I was still so tired, and the sound of his heartbeat is also making me so calm and sleepy again. I hope Levi doesn’t walk in and get the wrong idea. I listen to the sound of his heart beating before I give up on trying to stay awake and fall back asleep cuddled up against Eren.

Eren’s started to stir in his sleep and rolled over waking me up straight away, I lay still for a few more seconds before slowly getting up off the bed, while trying to disturb Eren. Looking at my phone it was already eleven, which makes me shocked Eren’s still fast asleep, then again knowing Levi he probably kept him up all night. I smile to myself and walk out of Eren’s bedroom into mine. Instantly my stomach drops as I open the door, Grisha was standing at my dresser holding the pregnancy test. My skin tingles and I all of a sudden feel as if I just got thrown in the freezer, he turns to me and gives me a sadistic smile. “Close the door and come here. Won’t you?” I hesitantly close the door behind me and walk up to him, my hands trembling at my sides. 

“You know what I absolutely hate Mikasa?” the way my name rolled off his tongue made me sick to my stomach, just the sound of him saying my name is enough to make me want to cower in a corner, “W-what?” I asked hesitantly, I didn’t want to know what he was going to say but I didn’t have much of a choice, maybe if I obey him he’ll just leave me alone for once. He put the test back down on my dresser and looked me up and down “Homosexuals, they are the scum of this world. Filthy creatures they are, absolutely vile, every last one of them will burn in hell where they belong.” He took a step closer to me and gripped my chin with his index and thumb, tilting it up to look at him, “And to think that you have committed such a sin disgusts me, you didn’t think I’d find out did you? You thought you could hide it from me. Well guess what? I have my was of finding stuff out.”  
“So rape isn’t a sin to you? Do you think that just because your a man that you can use my body when ever you want? Your the filthy one he-” I fall backwards a sharp pain in my gut, I hit the ground and I had to time to react before another blow hit me, and another and another, he stood above me with a savage look in his eyes repetitively kicking me in the gut. He crouched down and grabbed a fist full of my hair jerking my head up roughly. “Don’t fucking speak to me like that every again” he then let go of my hair sending my head down smashing into the ground as he left my room angrily. 

My whole body hurt, and I didn’t want to move in fear of it only hurting even more. I wanted Annie, I wanted her so badly. I reach for my phone and scroll down to her contact and press call, the dull dial tone rung through my ears and I was starting to lose hope in her ever picking up. Waiting a bit longer it went straight to voice message, I bit my lip in an attempt to prevent myself from crying. Taking a deep breath I slowly lift myself up pain shooting through my body like wild fire, I grab the bag I had prepared encase I ever needed to leave in a rush, and dash down the stairs and out the door without getting noticed. 

It took me half and hour to get to Annie’s place since I’m in such terrible pain, I knock on her door and hope to God she’s home. All I could hear inside the house was music playing from what seemed like upstairs and a faint buzzing sound. The door swung open not to long after I knocked and I immediately throw myself onto her, on to her for dear life. “Mikasa... what’s wrong? What are you doing here?” hearing her ask ‘what’s wrong’ makes me start to shake again and start to cry. “I’m never going back, I don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me” I sob into her clinging onto her hoodie tightly, she soon wrapped her arms around me and guided me into her bedroom. “Mikasa please tell me what’s wrong” Annie looks at me with an alarmed expression, me showing up randomly like this must of come as a surprise for her. She sat me down on her bed and then sat next to me, “It was my adoptive father” I speak up avoiding eye contact with her. “What do you mean?” she asks, making my stomach drop again, “He’s... the one who’s been abusing me” Annie goes silent and just gives me a ghostly look almost as if she can’t believe it. 

“That filthy fucking bastard” she spat her face twisting into anger, suddenly I start to regret telling her, what if she goes and hits him or threatens him. Then I’d pay for it for sure. But what I didn’t expect was for her to dive forward and embrace me tightly. “I won’t let him hurt you ever again” Annie whispers into my ear, I stiffen at how tightly she was holding me. It was hurting my bruises and cuts, I let out a small whimper and she immediately loosens her grips and pulls away “I’m so sorry, I forgot.” She says simply, but I shake my head trying to tell her it was okay.

Annie looked down and her eyes darkened, which scared me it was scary how quickly she could change moods. “W-What’s wrong?” my voice is shaky and hesitant, I was afraid of what was going on in her mind but at the same time I wanted to know, and I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to know. Annie looks up at me her eyes slightly glossed over, “What you asked of me last night. Do you still want to?” although she looked as if she were looking straight at me I knew for a fact she was looking past me, she is avoiding eye contact with me at all costs. It was unusual of her, when ever she’s talked to me before she’s always looked me straight in the eyes. Almost as if she was trying to read my mind, find out what I was thinking.

I look puzzled for a second but then pause as I finally register what she was talking about, she was talking about last night when I asked her to have sex with me. I turn a deep shade of crimson and look away when I feel her looking straight at me. “W-well, I... I um...” I almost couldn’t believe what I had said last night to her, I mean sure I wanted to but for me to say it out loud is just... beyond embarrassing.

The bed sunk and I looked up to see Annie on all fours examining my face, she closed her eyes for a second as she moved her fringe out of her face. My heart started to race and my stomach and chest felt weird, as if butterflies were fluttering around inside me. I look away and try to not pay attention to how sexy she looked in that position and how her shirt tugged down revealing her cleavage. “Stop l-looking at m-me” 

Annie’s POV  
Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment, her tan skin was flushed and I could sense how fast her heart was beating. She definitely wanted this alright, it was so obvious, from her body language to how she pressed her thighs tightly together. I edge closer and lick the shell of her ear making her visibly shiver, and a whine erupting from deep in her throat “Tell me to stop if t becomes to much, for you okay?” I wait until she gives a small nod before I gently push on her shoulders, pushing her down onto the bed. She still tries to evade eye contact with me clearly shy. Seeing her like this right now she is actually quite adorable... wait what. What the hells wrong with me? I don’t like her I’m just doing all this for fun, I don’t actually like her... do I? 

“Annie, wait” Mikasa said pulling me out of thought, but before I had time to respond she has already pinned me down on the bed, pinning my hands above my head with one hand. I try pulling my hands out of her great but it was all for nothing, she had an iron grip on my wrists, it didn’t hurt but the sudden change in her expression rather startled me. Her eyes contain that same look she held in the court yard at school, it was terrifying how quickly her expression could change.

Keeping her grip on my wrists she leaned down and bit my neck, I jump at the sudden pain and to my surprise a small moan slips past my lips. Mikasa grinned sadistically, a look that makes my stomach flutter, the feeling in my stomach was making me uncomfortable but at the same time I kind of liked it. Her spare hand moves itself from down over my shoulders, past my collar bone and resting perfectly on top of my right breast, she looked me straight in the eyes then started to grope my breast sending this sensation through my body straight to the pit of my stomach. 

Frustration starts to build up as I yearn for more, I want her to touch me even more. I bit my lip hard and try to hide my face, Mikasa must have seen how frustrated I am as she let’s go of my wrists and pulls my shirt off effortlessly. Then reaches around and unclips my brain just as fast, I quickly cover myself starting to feel even more self continuous. Is it because I’m not in control anymore? Or is it because I’m afraid lot what she’ll think of me when she sees me naked. Hands gently cup the tops of mine and I look up to see Mikasa looking at me with a gentle smile, “Annie, it’s okay.” I let her pull my hands away from my chest completely exposing my breasts, I can’t bring myself to look at her as she stares at them, my chest has always been on the smaller size and while I don’t let it get to me, deep down I wish they were bigger. Guys always go for the girls with big perky boobs not girls with small ones. 

The raventte leans down and takes one of my already erect nippers between her teeth and runs her tongue over the bud, I can’t stop myself from moaning loudly as the pleasure runs through my body, and I begin to notice how hot my lower region feels. Her hand makes her way to my other breast and starts to pinch and tease at my nipple, hearing how much I’m enjoying the attention to my nipple she nips my right nipple a little harder. But to my surprise I the pain was making me even more aroused. “M-Mika-saaa!” I shamelessly moan out her name, immediately realising what I had done I froze and so did Mikasa. 

She pulls away from my breasts and looms over me almost as if examining me, I reach up and intertwine my fingers in her messy black hair, pulling her down to my lips. This kiss was different from the others though, it sent an unexplainable electric shock through me, keeping her lips are locked on mine she gently runs her nails down my stomach stopping at the waist band of my jeans, without hesitation she dove her hand inside my jeans and in my panties her hand halting to cup my crotch, I quickly pull away from the kiss in shock “w-w-wait M-Mikasa not there” she tilts her head at me and runs her fingers between the lips of my pussy then pulling her hand out of my jeans. To my shock her fingers were laced with a kind of clear gooey liquid, “But Annie your so wet” my body stiffens surprised at how my body is reacting to all this. But how’s that possible it’s not like I’m enjoying this or anything... am I? Mikasa grins down at me and brings her fingers to her lips licking the substance off her fingers, my stomach flips again and I blush as she licks her lips when she is finished. 

Just before she was underneath me blushing and acting all embarrassed, but now she’s like a completely different person, It’s almost scary how quickly she changed. “You know Annie, you taste so good,” the statement made my stomach flip again. “Stop it!” I can’t stand to look at her anymore, I’m so embarrassed I could die. I roll over onto my stomach and burry my face into the pillows, and to my surprise Mikasa doesn’t attempt to stop me or complain, instead she wraps her strong arms around my waist and hoists me up on my knees, my hips positioned up in the air. As embarrassing as it is I’m so horny right now that I don’t both resisting.

I lift myself up onto my hands and look back at the raven who is working on unbuttoning my jeans, when she finally pops the button out of the loop she pulls down the zip followed by pulling my jeans down to my ankles. She bits her bottom lip as soon as she pulls down my underwear, my hearts beating is so fast it almost feels as if it’s going to burst through my chest, I’m completely exposed to her. Suddenly the room falls into silence, and I start to feel even more self-conscious. Is there something wrong with my body? Maybe she doesn’t like it and is disgusted by it. A harsh pain erupts from my lower back, and I jolt forward moaning at the strange tingling between my legs. I stiffen as I realise what she just did, she smacked me. I can instantly feel Mikasa smirking behind me, as I lower down my front half and burry my face in the pillow again, bracing myself to be smacked again. And once again the stinging pain brought me pleasure, as she smacked me again, again and again, my moans muffled from the pillow but I’m sure she heard them all to well.

Before I have a chance to catch my breath the raven slowly slides a finger inside me, the feeling is unreal and is completely different from when I touch myself. She lets it rest inside me for a few seconds then starts to pump in and out of me, I clutch the sheets tightly at the pleasure filling my body, “M-M-ikas-aaaa!” Hearing me moan her name she adds another finger, and starts to use her thumb to rub circles around my clit. She leans over my body as lightly rests herself on top of me, her breasts pushed against my back and I can feel her heart beat on my back. I turn my head to the side, to look up at her, and sure enough she was already looking at me. I reach up with one hand and thread it into her head, then pull her down to my lips rolling over onto my back to make it more comfortable to kiss her. Mikasa pushes her tongue into my mouth and twirls it around mine, I release a throaty groan as she speeds up her movements and pushes a third finger deep inside me. 

My hips start to twitch on their own as this wave of pleasure washes over me, I pull away from the kiss and moan loudly my head, pushing back into the pillow until the ecstasy completely disappears. I try to catch my breath, my heart beating harder than what it was before. The bed shifts as Mikasa rolls of me onto the bed, resting on her side. A soft, kind touch brushes away the hair out of my face, “I love you Annie.” She says quietly almost as if she was afraid to say it out loud, I roll over onto my side and pull her closers to me. “I love you too.” But this time.... I actually meant it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feel free to leave a comment if you have any suggestions on what you want to happen and i'll see what i can do.


	9. Instant Regrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short and it's been forever. Schools been hectic, but at least I passed the year. Just one more left. Hope you enjoy this regrettably short chapter.

Annie’s POV

Tonight is the night of the Halloween dance and I’m a little less than exactly thrilled about the event. I much rather want to go to the house party Reiner is throwing, since his parents are out of the house for the week and agreed to the plan. It was sort of a last minute plan but numbers certainly won’t be a problem. Besides most teenagers would much rather go to a party in which there’s alcohol, even if it’s on a Monday night.  
I slouch down in my seat and hang my head backwards, Geography was an absolute bore as usual, and when are we even going to need all this bullshit out in the real world? Oh that’s right never. I look over beside me and Hitch wasn’t paying attention either as per usual, my phone buzzes in my lap and I look down to see that Hitch sent me a message. 

 

‘How’s it going with the dyke?’ I sigh and shake my head, she always just has to know everything that’s going on in my life. I quickly type back my reply and look over at her, and find her grinning at me.  
‘Going as planned, she’s fallen right into my trap’ I hesitate sending the message, but then push back the thoughts running through my mind and press the send button. 

 

Over the weekend after Mikasa left I had time to think about the whole situation. Is it really love that I feel for her, or is it just me being really good at pretending, and have just fallen into a smooth rhythm with the act? In the end I decided to push away what ever I was feeling, all of this was just a way to amuse myself since nothing else interesting was happening at the moment. The only way to really be sure of my feelings is to kiss someone else, and have an affair with someone else. Maybe then I’ll be able to set things straight.   
My phone buzzed again but this time it wasn’t from Hitch, it was from Bertholdt, asking me to meet him and Reiner at the boys locker room. Then it dawned on me since Reiner likes Bertholdt, in which I’m assuming he’s either gay or bi, there should be no harm done if I kiss him to see if I’m actually gay or not. And knowing him he’s most likely not going to say no if it’s for that reason.

 

The bell rings and I hastily rush out of the classroom and into the crowded hallway, people spilling out of their classrooms and quickly rushing out into the hall. I push my way through the crowd of people making my way over to the boys locker room, but as soon as I get there I only see Reiner, Bertholdt nowhere in sight. “Where’s Bert?” I ask looking into the locker room which reeked of sweat, but strangely enough still no sign of Bertholdt. “He told us to go ahead to where we usually hang out and he’ll meet us there. He said he has something he needs to take care of first, but I have no clue what it could be” Reiner shrugs and we start walking to our usual place. “Guess we’ll just have to ask him when he gets back then. If he’s willing to tell us that is.” I sigh, Bertholdt has been acting a little off lately but whenever I ask he just brushes it off.

 

As soon as we enter the room I slump down to the ground, grunting slightly as I lean my head back against the wall, Reiner sits down next to me and gives me a long stare. “What?” I groan, slightly agitated at the look he’s giving me, like he’s trying to look inside me to figure out what’s wrong. I hate it when he does that. “Somethings bothering you” He plainly says, as I shift my weight onto my hands and climb into his lap. “Just help me forget” I give no warning before I wrap my arms around her broad, muscular shoulders and press my lips against his. 

 

Reiner makes no move to stop me and instead just sits there and lets me do as I wish, but finally realise that the kiss doesn’t bring me no where near the feeling as kissing Mikasa does. Frustrated I pull away and lean my forehead on his shoulder, frustrated with myself mainly but also a little with Mikasa. “Is this about Mikasa?” I give him a small grunt in reply, not particularly wanting to talk about how I feel about her and what happened on the weekend, “You’ve fallen for her.”   
“I don’t want to like her.”   
“But you do.” He was right, despite the fact that I didn’t want to love her I did, and the pain in my chest hurt even more now, knowing for certain how I feel about her. Not to mention the whole thing with her adoptive father is still on my mind, it’s my responsibility to tell at least Levi what’s been going on but then that would be like betraying her. 

 

“Am I interrupting anything?” startled Reiner and I look up at Bertholdt standing in the doorway. Embarrassed I shoot up out of Reiner’s lap, snatching up my bag and dart out of the room, pushing past Bertholdt as I walk out. Once outside of the room I lean against the wall and take in a big breath then breath out. I almost jumped out of my skin when he walked in, that was more than just a little embarrassing.   
It scares me to wonder what was going through Bertholdt’s when he walked in on Reiner and I like that. I shrink down onto the ground, my knees pulled up to my chest and rest my forehead atop. What was I thinking… I already know how I feel and yet I’m still second guessed myself. I guess it’s because in a way I don’t want to love her and yet I do, I try not to get feelings for her and yet a do. 

 

“Are you just going to stand there and say nothing, Mikasa” I don’t have to look up to know who It was, the pattern in which she walked were enough of an indication for me. I turn my head to the side and look up at the raven haired girl, she was paler than usual and seemed to be acting weird. She only seems slightly shocked that I knew it was her, but the shock is still written on her pale white face. “What’s wrong?” her eyes snapped into contact with mine, something was definitely off, but she just shakes her head and smiles timidly, “Nothing.” It was obviously a lie but I don’t push her to tell me anymore, can’t be bothered too really.   
I stand up and brush myself off, “You coming to Reiner’s place tonight, for the Halloween party?” Her eyes avert to the ground and she starts to scuff her feet against the concrete, “Am I really going to be all that welcome there?” She has a fair point, a lot of the people going are people who have no interest in her or dislike her. I frown up at her but she keeps her gaze on the ground. “Everyone’s going to be so drunk that none of that stuff will matter anyways, besides they all mellow down when they drink, they tend to be less… well, mean.” 

 

Mikasa let’s out a huff of air then looks over towards me, “Fine but only for a little bit, if anything happens I’m out of there straight away.” I nod in agreement as she pushed off the wall she was leaning against and turns on her heels, “See you then I guess.” A two tone vibration goes off in my pocket instantly pulling my phone from my pocket, turning it on a message pops up immediately from Hitch. ‘Did you manage to convince the Tramp to come tonight?’ my stomach sinks at the message, I knew from the minute I asked her that something would most definitely happen to her at this party. I shouldn’t care the way I do but I still can’t stop this feeling from submerging within, I bite back my feelings and type back a reply pressing the send button. I shove my phone back into my pocket grabbing my bag and walk off.

 

‘Yes’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoiler - A lot of stuff is going to go down next chapter


	10. Little orange bottle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm a horrible person, I honestly have no excuse for not updating apart from the fact that i was planning on dropping this fanfiction. But some people actually seem to like this crap of mine soooo here I am.

Mikasa POV   
The music was so loud I can barely hear over the droning sound of the base, the halls dark only illuminated by the Jack-o-lantern shaped lights hanging along the wall. Anxiety swells in my chest as I make my way through the crowd, desperately looking for someone I know. Pushing myself through the crowd I find Eren engaged in convocation with Reiner, a large red plastic cup in his hand filled with a pinkish liquid filled with what looked like jelly spiders and sour worms.

Eren notices me within record time and waves me over, handing me one of the red cups on the table behind me. I stare down at the strange liquid watching as the spiders float to the top while the worms sink to the bottom of the plastic cup. I take a sip of the unknown liquid, which leaves a warm sensation in my throat as it goes down, the taste isn't awful but isn't exactly fantastic in saying that, not to mention the gummies in the drink which press against my lip every time I take a drink. The drink doesn't have the best of tastes, it leaves a lasting aftertaste and burns on the way down my throat, despite this I keep drinking it anyway. 

I desperately search the room for someone I know, Armin decided against coming of course, he said being in a room full of drunk teenagers, in which he didn't like, wasn't his idea of fun. Krista got dragged along to the likes of Ymir, although I get along fine with Krista, Ymir is a bit intense at times, not exactly a bad person per say but not exactly a good one either. In the end I decide against staying close to Eren and make my way through the already drunk crowd to a quieter part of the house, a room in which didn't have very many people and no one I particularly disliked. Marco, who just so happened to be sitting on one of three large couches in the room, seemed to be in a similar situation as I was, I make my way over to where he was sitting and seat myself next to him. He seems so out of it that I decide to break the silence,  
“Jean runoff and leave you by yourself?” He looks up and offers me a smile,  
“Seems like it, he went to get a drink but knowing Jean he got distracted with something… or more like someone” he says face turning saddened for a split second but was quickly replaced with his usual warm smile. I frown at his display, it's clear it gets to him but he doesn't have the nerve to say anything,   
“I'm sure he doesn't do it on purpose” I reassure him, which earns me a slightly shocked expression.   
“Are you sure?”   
“Jean doesn't seem like the kind of guy to do this stuff intentionally, sure he's flirty but he I'm sure he doesn't mean anything by it.” 

There were a few seconds of silence before the cushions on the couch bounce as a someone throws themselves down between Marco and I, a little ticked at the rudeness I go to say something but am soon to realize Jean had finally returned from wherever he had gone to, which seemed to make Marco happy.   
“Nice of you to join us” I greet Jean  
“I got caught up with your brother, all I wanted was a drink and he opens his mouth with another of his smart ass comments. It's like he's out for a fight” he rants, which in a sense is funny. Those two are always after each other's throats that it's tiring sometimes,   
“And you didn't aggravate the situation?” Marco pokes making Jean go silent.   
“Well mostly” he finally says earning a groan from Marco who, with my help, is always pulling them two apart. We continue on with small talk for a while then make our way back to the main room of the party to join Reiner and Eren who have now been joined by, Ymir, Krista, Sasha, Connie and to my surprise Hitch, but still with no sign of Annie.   
“It's nice of you guys to finally join us” Ymir speaks up before anyone else can, eagerly shoving a glass bottle of an alcoholic beverage into our hands. Without thinking much of it I pop the cap off and start drinking, well it's definitely got Vodka in it that's for sure.   
“Is it really okay for you to be drinking so much Ackerman?” Hitch commented,   
“Does it matter how much I drink?” I query her on her strange comment, it is a party after all, most people here are here to get drunk. “Oh no not at all, it would just be a shame if you hurt yourself, or something else” she smiles slyly, weasly like always I see, but the more I think on it the stranger the question becomes, but no one in the group seemed to pick up on the strangeness of the question. 

Reiner seemed to be annoyed with Hitch’s presence though, it's common knowledge that although Annie gets along alright with her that Reiner doesn't, merely tolerates her because she's Annie's ‘friend’ if you can even call them that. “Where's Annie by the way?” I ask Reiner who looks at me for a long second before shrugging,  
“Come to think of it I have no clue” Reiner says while looking around the room. “Speaking of, how was it Ackerman?” Hitch asks in a strange tone, I look at her puzzled   
“How was what?”  
“Sex with Annie” she says simply and to the point, making the group go silent the only noise from the party around us. Chills run down my spine as everyone looks at me,   
“I don't-” I start but am quickly cut off.  
“Oh don't play dumb, Annie told me everything. I know how you're suicidal and tried killing yourself, I know you were raped by your adoptive father and are currently carrying his child, and most of all I also know that Annie has no feelings for you whatsoever and was just in it as a bet to see if she could coax you into having sex with her. Pathetic really, someone shows the slightest bit of kindness towards you and you just spread your legs and-”   
“Hitch that's enough!” Reiner barks making her snicker, everyone still staring at me in awe as all I can do is stand motionless in the middle of the room. Everything crashed down on me in a matter of seconds, the truth was out and I have no place to hide, my body frozen shock. After a few more agonizing seconds of silence Eren starts laughing nervously,  
“You guys really had me there for a second” Eren looks between Hitch, Reiner while still nervously laughing, but stops laughing as the situation sinks in a little more,  
“It was a joke... right guys?” No answer.  
“Reiner? Hitch?” Eren’s voice becomes more frantic, exactly how I knew he would react, Reiner gives no answer, looking down at the ground in silence, he knew. Reiner knew all this time what little game Annie was playing at, what they were all playing at, but he didn't have the nerve to say anything to Annie, to defy their friendship. 

Finally Eren looks at me,  
“Mikasa” he makes his way over to me gripping my shoulders in a tight grip, “Mikasa, please… Say something, tell me it's not true! This is all some sick joke right?!” his voice picks up and becomes more panicked. I want to be able to tell him, to say it's just a joke and his reaction was priceless, but I can't standing here now as the truth came tumbling out from someone else's mouth. Something I wanted to keep from him, I never wanted him to find out, that the man that he admired so dearly could do something so unforgivable. Tears prick my eyes threatening to fall, my breaths becoming shaky as my will to stop myself breaks, I let the tears fall down my face as Eren’s grip loosens then drops from my shoulders. I take this opportunity to back away, taking one small step at a time before breaking into a run, the shouts of the group calling after me washed out from the music and the screaming in my head, I had to get out, I had to get away. 

I only manage to make my way outside before slamming to the ground, pain erupts through my body as I fall ass first to the ground,  
“Why are you in such a rush?” that voice, that fucking voice, my mind screams as I look up, tears roll down my face as I'm met with that same face I'd grown to love over the past few months, hand extended out to help me up. As I make no movement to accept her help Annie kneels down and starts to brush the tears off my checks, I almost succumb to the sweet touch before the feeling of betrayal washes over me once again,   
“Don't fucking touch me!” I scream slapping her hand away, catching her off guard I stumble to my feet and run before Annie has the chance to say anything else. 

I run until my legs feel as though they were carved from brick and my lungs almost collapse, my mind led me to the one place I felt safe, Levi’s. His garage is vacant no car in sight, I contemplate leaving before rummaging through one of the pot plants out the front of the house for the spare key, finding it in no time. My fingers fumble as I try to get the key inside the keyhole, eventually getting it in, almost slamming the door open then quickly locking it behind me. The underlying thought that maybe someone had followed me, although unlikely, plaguing my mind. I flick the switch beside the door to light up the room so it wasn't so dark, Levi’s house was simple but tidy and cozy, slightly glad Levi wasn't home I make my way through the small house and into the room he kept for me whenever I wished it. It is always easier to hide what is actually happening then to involve him though, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how much I want to get away. Suddenly I realise how much of a bad idea this is, I can't burden Levi more than I already do, Grisha is away on a business trip as of this afternoon anyways, no one will be home. 

Before I realize it my feet had carried me out of Levis’ s house and back home, “Eren!” I call out with no reply, he must still be at the party. After what happened I don't particularly want to see him anyway, I don't want to see anyone, I run my hand up the wood of the handrail leading up the stairs, the house feels almost eerie with no one around. I make my way into my bathroom leaning against the sink staring into the mirror. Hot tears roll down my cheeks as the swelling in my chest becomes more and more painful, I open the vanity and pull out my anti-depressants I had prescribed to me a few years back but refused to take them. I sink back down to the ground, pill bottle in hand, a voice in my head telling me to end the pain, staring down at the small bright orange bottle laying in my palm. Giving into the voice inside my head I pop the lid off the bottle, shaking a small palm full of pills into my hand, I stare down at them one last time before throwing them into my mouth washing them down with tap water. I turn the tab off then sit on the ledge of my bathtub,   
“How could everything go so bad so quickly” I mumble to myself covering my face with the palms of my hands,   
“I trusted her despite everything I knew she'd done to people in the past” I push myself up from the tub and lean against the sink staring into the mirror,  
“I trusted her! How could I be so stupid as to be so ignorant?” I cry throwing the pill bottle at the wall, before long I become drowsy. My mind becoming a blur of thoughts, body heavy as my head bobs from the drowsiness and my ears buzzing, before my vision becomes blotchy, the last thing I remember is my body crashing back into the tub, before I black out completely.


	11. I'll never let you go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been long put off and I'm sorry for that guys. I have now graduated High school so hopefully will have more time to write. Anyway please enjoy the last chapter of this story, I would have loved to make it longer but I honestly lost my drive to keep going with this. My apologies guys.

Annie’s POV  
“Don't fucking touch me!”   
Pain erupts in my hand as Mikasa slaps away my hand, I stand in silence as she runs away not even attempting to run after her, how can I after the way she looked at me. This is what I wanted this is what I had planned to begin with is what I keep telling myself, so why does this hurt so damn much? Why does it hurt so much seeing her cry and look at me like I'm a monster, why does it feel like my heart just got ripped out? I make my way inside Reiner’s house pushing past crowds of people until someone grabs onto my wrist tightly and tugs me off to the side,   
“Ow hey watch it asshole!” I snap before realizing just who had pulled me to the side, “Oh it's just you” I say seeing Reiner’s face.   
“I hope you are happy with yourself” he snaps straight off the bat,   
“I don't know what you are talking about”  
“Oh cut the shit Annie I know you were partially behind what Hitch did, are you fucking out of your mind? Do you seriously care that little about everyone around-”  
“I've fallen in love with her okay! I don't know how but amongst the bullshit of this game I fell in love with her” Reiner falls silently biting his lip.   
“Then why weren't you honest? You could have called it all off with Hitch the second things got serious, but you didn't, it's all on you Annie.” I fall silent, even the party going on around me seems to be washed out in my mind, I let his words roll around in my head, he was right I couldn't deny that, this was my fault but it's beyond fixing now. Over the thoughts running through my head and the loud booming music of the party I hear someone calling out my name, to my surprise Eren starts pushing through the crowd to get to me,   
“Have you seen Mikasa? I can't find her anywhere and she's not answering her mobile” he says finally close enough for me to hear over the music, I shake my head guilty Eren has gotten dragged into this mess, “She left as soon as I got here… I don't think she had any intentions of coming back” I grip the back on my hand, although the moment is long gone I can still mentally feel the pain left behind. 

Warmth envelopes my hand, as Eren grabs he hand I was previously cupping, “Listen I don't know the whole circumstance of what's going on and I don't want to have an opinion until I hear from Mikasa what happened, but for now I need you to help me find her,” How Eren can be so calm after hearing what he did is beyond me, the fact he would trust me after knowing what I did is either admirable or just plain idiotic. Most likely the second one. Before I could even have time to finish nodding my head to agree I am being pulled through the crowd, Eren's grip far too tightly gripping my hand Reiner not too far behind me. As we make our way outside the house my phone buzzes in my back-jean pocket, I pull it out and look down at the notification on my phone, it was a message from Mikasa through Facebook two hours ago that I had forgotten to reply to. I am about to put my phone back in my pocket when I realise that Mikasa had left her location on, which was currently displayed at the bottom of the chat. Pulling on Eren’s arm I pass him the phone, “I think I might know where she is” he looks down at the phone and gives me a brief nod of his head, before grabbing my wrist again and leading me to his car. 

The car ride is awkwardly quiet, Reiner only looking over at me a handful of times but mostly looking out the window, he's still pissed at me, reasonably so but it doesn't help with the bad feeling settling in my stomach. Something's up I know it is, usually Mikasa would respond rather quickly to my messages, but now she wouldn't even look at the messages. I couldn’t help the uneasy feeling rapidly growing in my gut as we arrive at their house to find the door left slightly ajar, Eren still manages to stay calm as we enter the house. All the lights are off, and it is silent, Eren’s dad wasn't home so it wasn’t him who left the door open by accident in a possible drunken state that he was usually in when I've visited in the past or heard about from Mikasa.  
The eerie silence of the house made my mind run wild, I can’t think straight, so many thoughts are running through my head at once. Bad throughs, that make me lunge up the stairs as fast I can until I find myself standing in front of Mikasa’s door. I take a second to compose myself before I walk into the empty room.  
“Mikasa, you in there?” I knock on the door to the ensuite, silence. Heavy silence. “Listen I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now, but please, please just say something, you can even tell me to fuck off if you’d like” I pause, waiting for a reply that doesn’t come, biting my lip I lose my patience and open the door. Opening the door half way, I look inside seeing Mikasa lying in the tub, back facing me, continuing to open the door I hear he noise of something scraping along the tiles. Stepping into the bathroom I look behind the door for the source of the noise, a small orange bottle, crouching down I take a better look at the empty bottle until it finally hits me, they are Mikasa’s anti-depressants. 

“No no no” Blood runs cold as I rush to the side of the bathtub pressing my shaking fingers against the pale flesh of her neck, feeling for a pulse, it was there but faint.  
“What did you do? Mikasa what did you do?!” tears well in my eyes as I lift her limp body into my arms and drag her into the shower, turning on the spray, I pull her body close to mine in between my legs, before I shove two fingers into her mouth as far back as I can and keep them there until I start to feel her gag. I pull my hand away as Mikasa lurches forward coughing, at this point I cant tell whether the heat rolling down my cheeks is from the now warm spray of water from the shower head or not, but I don’t care as I wrap my arms around the ravens waist as she continues of cough up the pills and a large amount of liquid, pressing soft kisses against her neck.

In the background I hear the thud of steps coming up the stairs, but I block it out as Mikasa comes to her senses and tries to pull away from me,  
“Let go, get away from me!” her voice is raspy and shaky as she struggles in my grip, but I just pull her even closer to me,   
“Never” I say just loud enough for her to hear, which makes her stop struggling. “I’m never going to let you go again, I love you Mikasa.”   
“Annie… why did you bother saving me? I know it was all an act” she shakes her head, her wet jet-black hair clinging to the back and sides of her neck, slightly tapering down to just above the delicate curve of her collar bones. “It was in the beginning, but I along the way I become to love you. You were not longer a stupid bet to me. I love you Mikasa, I love you so much, please forgive me.” Silence fell as Mikasa reached up and turned the shower off, I allow my grip around her waist to loosen as she turns to face me, keeping her eyes downcast. She shakes her head again and opens her mouth slightly but closes it again, as she finally looks up at me raising a hand to cup my cheek and swiping her thumb across it, I realise the warmth rolling down my cheeks wasn’t from the water.

“I don’t think I can forgive you for what you did,” I feel my heart sink in my chest, I fucked up, I fucked up bad and now I don’t think I can come back from this, “But, I guess only time will tell” and there it is that beautiful half smile half smirk of hers that I fell in love with, she’s smiling, smiling at me, after everything I did she can still look at me even remotely the same as how she use to. Before I get the chance to fully process the situation she’s pulling me into a hug, it’s awkward because of how we are sitting but still a hug none the less. It’s only now that I realise the foot steps up the stairs before belonged to Eren and Reiner who were now currently standing in the door way, Eren looked like he was holding himself back from diving in and hugging Mikasa, while Reiner’s face was plagued with pure concern, It’s hard to tell how long they had been standing there, but its safe to assume that they saw enough to make a judgment of what happened for themselves. 

When Mikasa finally calms down I help her up and out of the shower, still a little out of it so most of her weight is on me. As soon as she steps out of the shower Eren pulls her into a hug, one hand gripping the back of her head while the other one wraps around her waste as a method of support to keep her upright, “I’m so sorry” she mumbles into his shirt, her back quaking as she beginnings to sob into his shirt. Eren hushing her as he massages her scalp as a comforting gesture. 

After that Eren promises he wouldn’t tell anyone what happened so long as she told him the truth. Once Eren found out the truth about his father he went straight to the police and Grisha was soon sent to jail with a life sentence for the rape of his adoptive daughter. Due to no longer having any place to go with Grisha now in prison, Levi was given the push he needed to officially take custody of Eren and Mikasa. Although the pills didn’t cause any extreme harm to Mikasa herself it seems the mix of alcohol and near overdoes made her miscarriage, but it doesn’t seem to bother her all that much, she didn’t even so much as shed a tear when she woke up one night in extreme pain and blood between her thighs. Considering everything that happened Mikasa has managed to stay strong, she attended therapy for while due to my request and eventually found it in her heart to forgive me, and we are happier than ever. I wouldn’t give up her love for the world.


End file.
